STORYTIME - "DATING" A SURGERY RESIDENT DOCTORMany people do not know what they are getting into when they start medical school. You can read about the price of becoming a doctor here. But did you know that women pay a higher price than men to become a medical doctor. Most women do not even realize the full extent of what they are giving up to achieve their dream. This sacrifice goes beyond money and time. A female doctor is less likely to marry than the average female.
Not every woman can marry up. For the nurses that married down, that is the best they can do. On the flip-side of your observation, a good number of nurses are hoping to hit the jackpot and marry a doctor. Oh the stories I could tell …. What about the guy in the in-between area? The middle of the bell curve guy? The average, blue collar man?
Newsflash: No one wants to marry homeless McGee, not even homeless Ms. As a general rule, women want the best overall package and men want the hottest. You may find exceptions here or there, but most tend to follow the rule. Of my female classmates, those who married someone at their professional level or higher i.
Those who married average working-class men were quite average in their looks. I cannot think of a single pretty classmate who married average. Hey Alex, Thank you for writing this article I am a first year college student on track to apply to medical school.
I just finished my first semester of ochem, physics, and cell bio at a competitive college. I am really concerned about giving up so much as a female in the medical field. How much free time do you have in medical school? Break wise as well as free time? In another article you mentioned your days were on a light day but some classmates had gone out after the exam. Is it possible to go out after exams? If I went to med school in a city would I be able to join my friends on nights out at least once a week?
Depending on what class or what rotation I was on, my free time ranged from 1 hour a day to 8 hours a day. In my free time, I had to fit in food, hygiene, friends, etc.
It could get a bit hectic. It is possible to go out after exams. In fact, most of my peers did. I did too. But you will be missing out on your twenties, especially when compared to your friends. I am a medical graduate at age 25 and I have three years residency to go etc etc…. If I were to go back and choose another career would I?
No doubt! I plan on going to med school in the next 3 years. As for the beauty thing, I plan on being just as attractive in the next several years. Everyone is still aging at the same rate regardless of continuing education or not.
I see what you mean though about it taking several years of your life. Honestly, I would rather spend my time studying and working towards an education rather than working at a job I hate and not making very much money. You would on occasion probably be able to make time for other things and there is also the summerss. Thank you!!! Yes, it can be hard at times but that goes for every career.
Well, I guess it could always be worse. I could be a broke woman with no career AND single lol there are many of those out there too. You seem really really bitter. Also how is there any good reason for a man to be insecure as you said in your article? The average relationship has a year difference in the US. Also, there are many average looking female doctors who are married as well. I hope you find someone after fixing your attitude. Also with your logic a man will just divorce his previously young hot wife for a new one once she gets old.
Why not talk about the severe quality guys there are? I am saying that if you beleive all men just want young wives, then once their previously young wife ages, they will divorce her and get a new one.
Most women would prefer a 25 year old athletic handsome man; however, they stay with their husbands because they made a commitment and because their love for them goes past their physical beauty.
It is the same for quality men. Way to attack me instead of the points of the article. Less male doctors drives up my value in the dating pool. Not sure what this has to do with the article. There is still no reason an older man should prefer an older woman over a younger one. Kids from old man with old woman if IVF works have more birth defects than kids from old man with young woman. I am just telling you want your tone throughout the article sounds like.
For a hookup yes. For a hookup older women would rather a hot young man with a six pack lol. They are people just like us. By your logic the women never ever wins no matter if they are young or old. Smart or stupid. Beautiful or ugly. You can look up male fertility in any well known journal and get those stats.
And yes an old man has a higher chance at conceiving when with a young women BUT an old woman has a higher chance of conceiving with a young man as well.
So if the goal for both parties is to have children, women marrying younger men would be a smarter choice in therms of fertility as well.
Especially with women becoming more and more successful. Do you want to marry a rich 70 year old man?
Dating a female doctor pros and cons. She would be the pros and the pros http:// traveltimefrom.com cons. Young women considering dating a brief about. We like to think that dating a doctor is the way to go, but, what are the real pros and cons of dating an MD?. I have read all of the posts about the pros/cons about being married to another physician. I've done that and have my own thoughts on that.
And no my stat was that most marriages in the US have a year age difference and the larger the age gap between the two the more likely the divorce. I did use the word relationships because I was referring to long term ones and trying to be more inclusive of the differe types of life partners people choose. Anyways, I feel like confidence plays a big role in meeting someone.
I am not sure whether or not you want a relationship or to get married, but you can marry at any age. Wondering where you are getting your stats from also.
Intellectual attraction and life experience is a factor for both men and women alike. Most people would a agree a woman in her late 20s or early 30s is young as well and the average age for a woman to marry in the US is slowly increasing too!
Since you know so much about what men want, your husband must be the happiest guy in the world. Spend your efforts on him instead of spraying diarrhea everywhere. I deleted your other comments because they were really too dumb. It is as if you have no reading comprehension. Are you in an American medical school?
Update: It has been a few days already and she is still submitting comments which will never get approved, admitted to stalking me, and is pretty much acting like a creep. I feel really bad for her husband. Hey there Alex. I have once considered going into med school. But after being discouraged by my male teachers and my male friends, I reevaluated my choices. Yes, I was once enchanted by the idea of saving lives and doing good — because everyone knows that a doctor is probably one of the noblest professions anyone could have.
But after stumbling across your article, I realised that the points you made were very very true. If I were 5 foot 10, I think I could make it to modelling. Like you mentioned in your article, this may become a problem for marriage. I know a lot of women will flame me for writing this post.
Lindsay is obnoxious and has no reading comprehension. Her subsequent comments which I deleted got nastier and nastier. If they were, they would equally accept a married stay-at-home mom and a career women.
Overall, you seem like a girl who can think for herself. Remember to stack the advantages in your favor. If you value marriage to a high value man, you must make that a priority.
Marriage rates are decreasing. Marriageable men of status are also decreasing due to the increase of women in the workplace — which works out for me. Statistically, few women are lucky enough to snag one. The competition for top men is brutal. Women who traded their looks and youth for career and fun are at a disadvantage. I think you are being more negative than you need to be. And I dont believe women always marry up or even often…maybe in the media world. But in real life not so much. I dont even think about marrying up or down, its all about how much I get along with the person.
Ladies who are doing medicine, go for it, its such a fulfilling career. You will find ways to make life work. I know many people who are in realtionships and they arent happy either. So its really neither here not there. So when happiness and contentment is not guaranteed no matter what you do, you might as well do what you want. Hate to say it but there is some truth to this article.
But, even for the female physician who find a husband and has children, her road is also harder. Most female physicians mothers I know are doing the larger part of raising their children and working on top of it. Their lives are not enviable. In spite of society trying to change men and women, men just do not seem to have the same instinct for nurturing and raising children that a woman has.
In addition, she has a demanding job, full of responsibilities. With the shortage of physicians, many see that females take up seats in medical schools and residencies, but they may not be able to deliver the time overall to practicing medicine if she has children and takes time off to have them and subsequently goes part time to help raise them to be good citizens.
Overall medicine is a rewarding field. The exact same thing can be said of motherhood. When you combine the two — someone loses in spite of the delusions many have — that they can do it all. As a female doctor, the kind of man, whether more successful than me or not, that is intimidated by my success, money or educational achievements, is exactly the kind of man I have no interest in.
Everyone knows you give up your most of your social life, time you spend with your family, early marriage, having children early, to have a successful career and take good care of your patients. A woman cannot survive in the medical field if she is not prepared to acknowledge what she will inevitably have to lose.
And this is why for a lot of successful female doctors, their passion and drive for medicine supercedes everything else. So, refrain from making generalisations and acting like you know what female doctors want. I love female doctors. I look foward to marry a female doctor by Gods grace.
I am a lawyer so I think her status and what ever will intimidate or deter other men will not be a factor. Once she is God fearing, I mean born again christian, respects me deeply, believes in me and loves me. Am in for the marriage. This article is funny!
True contentment comes from achieving dreams. I am attending medical school next year, compete in pageants and love my life. You have to get honest about what you really want. Can you be a doctor and have healthy relationships with your family and those you love, absolutely. Men typically feel under pressure to do the same but are better at setting boundaries and respecting their own needs than women are.
So many female doctors feel as though they are a candle constantly burning at both ends. The expectation is the problem, not the gender. As with anything in life the more passionate you are the more successful you will become. Please i need help.
Are you a single man/woman who is looking for a doctor for dating? And you don' t know what are the pros and cons of dating a female doctor? Don't worry, click. A female doctor is less likely to marry than the average female. Why? .. Nope met my husband in medical school got married one year after dating. The pro of a fellowship is you'll make even more money (which could be a con if your $ is . Pros: 1. She needs to study so you'll get a lot of free time for yourself. 2. Whenever she gives you time it may not be much in quantity but it's.
I am a married, female physician with three children, married to a non-physician professional structural engineer. I have to admit there is some truth to this article. At the time I started medical school at 23 I was probably at my physical peak. I had been a cheerleader, homecoming in high school, never had a problem dating, etc. I assumed I would meet my husband in my medical school class, but was surprised to find that the guys in my class I found attractive were not interested in marrying another doctor.
A few even specifically told me that. I like you. I did date several future doctors when I was in college and med school, who are now successful and well-paid specialist physicians, but I never made the relationship a priority. Looking back, I wish I had.
I think being marries to another physician would have been easier. Currently, I am 40 and my husband Financially we are doing well all debt paid off, kids in private school, nice house, etc.
However, the marriage is hanging on by a thread. Honestly, I doubt very much it will make it more than a couple of years. I put too much focus on grades, resume, career. By the time I was in medical school, I realized I had to make relationships a priority quickly, or I would miss the boat potentially on the best marriage partners.
Marrying A Doctor – 7 Facts To Help You Make Up Your Mind
I admit, it cost me some grade points, when I met my now-husband and starting seriously dating him at age 24 when in my second year of med school, but, despite my current marital difficulties and it probably costing me a chance at dermatology and the other most competitive specialties. I got married at 26 and had my first child by 29, then two more at 32 and I got to have my big dream wedding in my twenties.
I was blessed with three beautiful, smart, healthy kids. I, thankfully, was still young enough to be bale to handle full time medicine and pregnancy, etc. It was not easy, but it was possible at least, whereas I was afraid if I had waited later it would not be.
The toll on the marriage has been hard. Even he had not had that challenge, though, I admit that, and I hate to say this, that I ended up being more bothered later than I thought I would be by note being married to another physician. My husband designs space launch systems and other Nasa, Spacex, etc. But it is still not the some. Sometimes, only another doctor can really understand.
At least that is what it seems to me. Interestingly, I think if I had not going to medical school and had gone for one of the less demanding careers I also considered, I would not have married the man I am with now. Looking back, I probably would have been more likely to marry a very successful doctor, lawyer, etc. Bottom line is, for me, I am proud of being a doctor, but prouder that I did not let becoming a doctor interfere too much with my family plans.
Being a physician has meant that, financially, I have been able to help my parents, in-laws and others who need help, and to provide a life for my kids that I did not have. Also, since it is me and not my spouse, I never have to worry about someone leaving me for a younger woman, etc.
I know my financial stability and my kids stability is in my hands. But also, at the end of the day, relationships mean the most to me. Who knows if that would have been right though? Good luck! Life is hard. There is only so much time and energy to go around each day. And men and women are different. It has taken me decades to admit that. Imagine how much worse it could be: 40 years old dermatologist cat lady. I am a male graduate from medical college preparing for pg.
Most men in their thirties are already in relationships or married. I have read some of these comments. Please never alter your life ir dreams for the sake of having a boyfriend or a potential husband.
If you put your dreams on the backburner in order to marry and they leave you…then what have you got at the end of that? Nothing is assured someone on here is bragging about her long term relationship l, hence married is assured…lol since when.
My fellow med student just got dumped by her bf of 7 years. Bottom line is when you make it as a doctor and someone decides to leave you or whatever, at least you did something great for yourself. On to the next….
I think this post is a little extreme. Most of my medical class dated each other and many went on to marry one another. I know female physicians who chose to marry other physicians most common pairing that I seeand many who chose to marry outside of the field. I had a boyfriend in college, broke up with him before medical school.
He is married now. Dated a classmate for several years, broke up with him as well. Currently dating someone in finance who certainly has the capacity to outearn me in our lifetime. My job as a physician is one of the things he liked the most about me. I am in residency, at 29 yrs old, will finish in a few months.
I am quite happy. Of course there are challenges, yes there were some lonely periods, but I do not see that my friends who pursued alternative careers other than medicine are better off. If anything my decision to go to medical school opened up my circle in ways I never would have predicted. I grew up pretty humble, however most of the men I dated grew up much more privileged than I did, our paths likely would not have crossed had it not been for my career choices.
Also working hard in medical school affords you the opportunity to pursue more lifestyle friendly specialties, which gives you the time to focus on children later.
Yes, medical school is busy and challenging, but realize you spend a lot of time with your classmates who share a similar often the exact same schedule as you. My social life in med school was amazing, one of the happiest periods of my life. I would listen to what other woman have to say.
Every woman had boyfriends before. Or what about the kid swhich you should have before 35 years old? Clock is ticking. I am 25 and soon to be a doctor. If anything, people become more attractive as they age and gain both confidence and life experience. Male M2 here. I avoided dating female med students for all the points you hit despite the numerous chances with the many females in my class.
Thanks for recofirming my beliefs and why I resisted the urge to date them. As a father of 5 girls that all want to be obgyns or pediatricians I find some wisdom here but also hope. Seems to me so long as they make it to med school and flip there priorities from school to family that they might be happy at both. As a woman in medicine I can assure you that you are completely wrong.
Not to mention all the other incorrect, sexist, generalised comments you made. I probably got dealt a bad hand. A consequence of being a strong, independent women is being independent and alone romantically, or at least struggling to find a man willing to accept an alpha-female. What can we offer you? And with your salary you could probably pay for sperm donor and IVF and skip the man! This is the perspective some males have.
Take it for what it is. Better to know than wonder. I completely agree. As much as it may pain some women to hear. The pool gets ever so small until they are looking for unicorns and have to finally settle.
Some are lucky of course. But luck is a risk. I would like to share with you a true story. I was pre Med for many years. All of my mentors were beautiful women yet mysteriously still unmarried who had dedicated their lives to medicine and medicine alone ages So had I!
Though it was an enigma, it seemed to be a pervasive unavoidable, ineffable axiom of female doctorhood. You all, this literally began to keep me up for many nights tossing and turning in destress thinking about how lonely my many female MD mentors were and how unjust it seemed.
They expressed joy with their jobs but they expressed depressed dissatisfaction with their personal lives. They lacked friends and companionship because of the rigorous demands of medical doctorhood. Even the married ones seemed unhappy because they never spent enough time with their husbands or their children…. She has never been there for me. She always has to go! She always has to work! I was raised by nannies. I was petrified and broken-hearted to see my 20 something year old friend like that.
What a shame! By the help of God, I met the great man who is now my hubby and we have a baby on the way. I made a choice and I chose love, a new and better dream for me. You LOSE a lot when you go into medicine or any other time consuming career choice at that. This is one of the most poorly written articles I have read on the internet.
And that certainly says something. As a specialist with 3 children and a husband, I can tell you that the sacrifices I made were not my beauty, fertility nor my marriagability. It was years of study, student debts, time away from family and dealing with misogynistic males such as yourself. Guess what Alex? You claim to be a specialist with 3 kids and a husband. And instead of enjoying your career and your kids and your husband, you take the time to spam comments regarding an article I have written half a decade ago.
And it really sounds like you married down. If I were to bet, you did not manage to snag down a medical school colleague. But continue to tell me how successful and wonderful you are and how I am a loser. It clearly shows in your actions how much of a winner you are. I work in an EM group of But do you want to be that wife anyway? Take your Paleolithic theories and shove them up your pompous ass.
You are young, impressionable and silly with a limited, neanderthal view of the female species. Certainly what you say is true for some, for others it is not.
Since you have not completed a national, critically reviewed study of your claims, forgive me if I respond to your meaningless conclusions with a healthy cynicism. Of all the topics to speak of in a medical forum, you choose one in which you are neither versed nor an expert. And to lend less credibility, based on your vast experience with your medical school classmates.
Simply put, you are just a dude with an opinion, no more, no less. It is no secret that men are visual creatures, women more emotional. Hence, we connect on different levels.
However, maturity goes a long way in equalizing that playing field. Suddenly a not so attractive woman becomes more attractive because she has redeeming qualities. A man of depth will appreciate these qualities because he has had enough of superficiality. You are not there yet. When you arrive, your perspective will change.
“What are the pros and cons of marrying a doctor? Even the US, there are dating sites such as traveltimefrom.com, traveltimefrom.com to name a few! In fact, the growing enrollment of women in medical colleges is attributed to. Female doctors reportedly have a hard time on dating sites. There are some obvious pros and cons of a relationship with a professional lady. If you want to date a doctor, be understanding that plans will occasionally . Dating a doctor can get frustrating at times, but remember the pros.
And I will await your new post with baited breath. After you marry the ugly broke guy, then you can lecture about going beyond the superficiality.
Fortunately, you do not determine when I can lecture. You just need to sit down and take notes. Perhaps, once you are able to transition beyond the 5-mile radius of inbred cretins from which you hail, you can expand your social education and intellect.
I have spoken my mind; thank you for the opportunity. Now that you have been schooled, you are dismissed. What happened to going beyond the superficiality? I would leave giving advice to women pursuing medicine to those of us that can be true mentors.
Those of us that have completed medical school, competitive residencies and fellowships. Whom are successful physicians, mothers, and wives. Who know the true challenges of being a female physician. You are more suitable to give advice to young boys about dating. So please stick to what you know and leave the rest of it to the professionals. It is easy to criticize, but have you done the real work?
How many women have you mentored? At least in India, parents have our back when its time to get married! An engineer started dating a doctor 8 years ago and this what he had to say. No threat or ego issues: Ever saw your friends getting jealous of their spouses who are in the same line of work, and have become more successful?
Here, I know that eventually, doctors tend to earn more, and hence am fully prepared for it mentally. Further, we both get equal opportunities to appear more intelligent in front of each other. Interesting conversations: She tells me about the curious cases that come to her, I tell her about the new marketing campaign I am working on. We exchange work talk, not really expecting expert opinions, but interesting ones nevertheless.
Network: I know I can count on a dentist, a paediatrician, a surgeon and many others whenever I need them because of her. She knows who to call if her computer crashes or she needs life hacks or she needs to find good pubs around! Also, typically medical students are too engrossed in their studies to really get to know outside life, so my circle of friends prove to be a good break from that for her.
Minimum level of intelligence expected: Think about it. Doctors are anyway intelligent. Intelligent enough not to fall in love with idiots. Hence, both parties get the benefit of no-stupidity-no-frustrati on factor. In such cases in whatever you speak or breathe, please tread carefully, very carefully. Doctor Ego : Fact is, doctors had to study more and grill themselves for longer hours doing harder work than any engineer will ever do. This might lead them to think that doctors are better than engineers or anyone else.
Again, a delicate topic to stir up. Family awkwardness : You might end up feeling a bit ignored in case your family members get more interested in discussing their minute health issues to get free consultation than pampering you like you were used to. I, however, enjoy the peace. The doctor vs the spouse : Often when you will hold her hand, she will suddenly observe some weirdness in the bone structure of your hand and start cautioning you against medical conditions you have never heard that affect body parts you never knew existed.
According to Dan Kopf, staff writer at Pricenomicssome professions see a large number of marriages happening from within the profession while others see most marriages happening outside the profession.
For example, lawyers and farmers are most likely to marry people in the same profession whereas miners will most likely marry someone out of their profession. Guess where doctors fall? Yes, there is a high probability that doctors will end up marrying another doctor. According to Dan Kpof, professions with more balanced gender ratios are more likely to have more marriages happening within the profession. With more and more female medical students enrolling in Indian universities, we should see a similar trend in India.
Women in India have been getting the raw deal irrespective of their profession or educational qualifications. Ask your 1st cousin? Facebook physician. So good one article in dating common problem, a doctor to think there are some obvious pros and the calling. One-Week diet.
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