ENFP Love, Dating And Romance
Some believe that romantic love evolved independently in multiple cultures. For example, in an article presented by Henry Grunebaum, he argues " therapists mistakenly believe that romantic love is a phenomenon unique to Western cultures and first expressed by the troubadours of the Middle Ages. The more current and Western traditional terminology meaning "court as lover" or the general idea of "romantic love" is believed to have originated in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, primarily from that of the French culture.
This idea is what has spurred the connection between the words "romantic" and "lover", thus coining English phrases for romantic love such as "loving like the Romans do".
The precise origins of such a connection are unknown, however. Although the word "romance" or the equivalents thereof may not have the same connotation in other cultures, the general idea of "romantic love" appears to have crossed cultures and been accepted as a concept at one point in time or another. Romantic love is contrasted with platonic lovewhich in all usages precludes sexual relations, yet only in the modern usage does it take on a fully nonsexual sense, rather than the classical sense, in which sexual drives are sublimated.
Sublimation tends to be forgotten in casual thought about love aside from its emergence in psychoanalysis and Nietzsche. Unrequited love can be romantic in different ways: comic, tragic, or in the sense that sublimation itself is comparable to romance, where the spirituality of both art and egalitarian ideals is combined with strong character and emotions.
Unrequited love is typical of the period of romanticismbut the term is distinct from any romance that might arise within it. Romantic love may also be classified according to two categories, "popular romance" and "divine or spiritual" romance:.
Greek philosophers and authors have had many theories of love. Six Athenian friends, including Socrates, drink wine and each give a speech praising the deity Eros. When his turn comes, Aristophanes says in his mythical speech that sexual partners seek each other because they are descended from beings with spherical torsos, two sets of human limbs, genitalia on each side, and two faces back to back.
Their three forms included the three permutations of pairs of gender i. This story is relevant to modern romance partly because of the image of reciprocity it shows between the sexes.
In the final speech before Alcibiades arrives, Socrates gives his encomium of love and desire as a lack of being, namely, the being or form of beauty. Though there are many theories of romantic love-such as that of Robert Sternbergin which it is merely a mean combining liking and sexual desire -the major theories involve far more insight. This gave rise to a few counter-theories. Theorists like Deleuze counter Freud and Jacques Lacan by attempting to return to a more naturalistic philosophy:.
A natural objection is that this is circular reasoningbut Girard means that a small measure of attraction reaches a critical point insofar as it is caught up in mimesis. This view has to some extent supplanted its predecessor, Freudian Oedipal theory. It may find some spurious support in the supposed attraction of women to aggressive men. As a technique of attraction, often combined with irony, it is sometimes advised that one feign toughness and disinterest, but it can be a trivial or crude idea to promulgate to men, and it is not given with much understanding of mimetic desire in mind.
Mimesis is always the desire to possess, in renouncing it we offer ourselves as a sacrificial gift to the other. Mimetic desire is often challenged by feministssuch as Toril Moi who argue that it does not account for the woman as inherently desired. Though the centrality of rivalry is not itself a cynical view, it does emphasize the mechanical in love relations.
In that sense, it does resonate with capitalism and cynicism native to post-modernity. Romance in this context leans more on fashion and irony, though these were important for it in less emancipated times.
Sexual revolutions have brought change to these areas. Wit or irony therefore encompass an instability of romance that is not entirely new but has a more central social role, fine-tuned to certain modern peculiarities and subversion originating in various social revolutions, culminating mostly in the s. But what ultimately draws two individuals of different sex exclusively to each other with such power is the will-to-live which manifests itself in the whole species, and here anticipates, in the individual that these two can produce, an objectification of its true nature corresponding to its aims.
Later modern philosophers such as La RochefoucauldDavid Hume and Jean-Jacques Rousseau also focused on moralitybut desire was central to French thought and Hume himself tended to adopt a French worldview and temperament. Desire in this milieu meant a very general idea termed "the passions", and this general interest was distinct from the contemporary idea of "passionate" now equated with "romantic".
Love was a central topic again in the subsequent movement of Romanticismwhich focused on such things as absorption in nature and the absoluteas well as platonic and unrequited love in German philosophy and literature. French philosopher Gilles Deleuze linked this concept of love as a lack mainly to Sigmund Freudand Deleuze often criticized it.
Victor C. De Munck and David B. Kronenfeld conducted a study named "Romantic Love in the United States: Applying Cultural Models Theory and Methods"  This study was conducted through an investigation of two cultural model cases.
It states that in America "we have a rather novel and dynamic cultural model that is falsifiable and predictive of successful love relationships. It describes American culture by stating: "The model is unique in that it combines passion with comfort and friendship as properties of romantic love. The two at the end of the play love each other as they love virtue. In the first place, I find it comical that all men are in love and want to be in love, and yet one never can get any illumination upon the question what the lovable, i.
He concluded on six rules, including:. Many theorists attempt to analyze the process of romantic love. Anthropologist Helen Fisherin her book Why We Love uses brain scans to show that love is the product of a chemical reaction in the brain.
Norepinephrine and dopamineamong other brain chemicals, are responsible for excitement and bliss in humans as well as non-human animals. Fisher concludes that these reactions have a genetic basis, and therefore love is a natural drive as powerful as hunger. In his book What Women Want, What Men Want anthropologist John Townsend takes the genetic basis of love one step further by identifying how the sexes are different in their predispositions.
These differences are part of a natural selection process where males seek many healthy women of childbearing age to mother offspring, and women seek men who are willing and able to take care of them and their children. Psychologist Karen Horney in her article "The Problem of the Monogamous Ideal",  indicates that the overestimation of love leads to disillusionment; the desire to possess the partner results in the partner wanting to escape; and the friction against sex result in non-fulfillment.
Disillusionment plus the desire to escape plus non-fulfillment result in a secret hostility, which causes the other partner to feel alienated. Secret hostility in one and secret alienation in the other cause the partners to secretly hate each other.
This secret hate often leads one or the other or both to seek love objects outside the marriage or relationship. Psychologist Harold Bessell in his book The Love Test reconciles the opposing forces noted by the above researchers and shows that there are two factors that determine the quality of a relationship.
Dating love and romance
Bessell proposes that people are drawn together by a force he calls "romantic attraction", which is a combination of genetic and cultural factors. This force may be weak or strong and may be felt to different degrees by each of the two love partners. The other factor is "emotional maturity", which is the degree to which a person is capable of providing good treatment in a love relationship.
It can thus be said that an immature person is more likely to overestimate love, become disillusioned, and have an affair whereas a mature person is more likely to see the relationship in realistic terms and act constructively to work out problems.
Romantic love, in the abstract sense of the term, is traditionally considered to involve a mix of emotional and sexual desire for another as a person. However, Lisa M. Diamonda University of Utah psychology professor, proposes that sexual desire and romantic love are functionally independent  and that romantic love is not intrinsically oriented to same-gender or other-gender partners.
She also proposes that the links between love and desire are bidirectional as opposed to unilateral. According to Diamond, in most men sexual orientation is fixed and most likely innate, but in many women sexual orientation may vary from 0 to 6 on the Kinsey scale and back again. Martie Haselton, a psychologist at UCLAconsiders romantic love a "commitment device" or mechanism that encourages two humans to form a lasting bond.
She has explored the evolutionary rationale that has shaped modern romantic love and has concluded that long-lasting relationships are helpful to ensure that children reach reproductive age and are fed and cared for by two parents.
The first part of the experiments consists of having people think about how much they love someone and then suppress thoughts of other attractive people. In the second part of the experiment the same people are asked to think about how much they sexually desire those same partners and then try to suppress thoughts about others. The results showed that love is more efficient in pushing out those rivals than sex. Research by the University of Pavia [ who?
However, research from Stony Brook University in New York suggests that some couples keep romantic feelings alive for much longer. Attachment styles that people develop as children can influence the way that they interact with partners in adult relationships, with secure attachment styles being associated with healthier and more trusting relationships than avoidant or anxious attachment styles. Singer a,  b,   first defined love based on four Greek terms: erosmeaning the search for beauty; philiathe feelings of affection in close friendships, nomosthe submission of and obedience to higher or divine powers, and agapethe bestowal of love and affection for the divine powers.
While Singer did believe that love was important to world culture, he did not believe that romantic love played a major role Singer, . However, Susan Hendrick and Clyde Hendrick at Texas Tech University  have theorized that romantic love will play an increasingly important cultural role in the future, as it is considered an important part of living a fulfilling life.
They also theorized that love in long-term romantic relationships has only been the product of cultural forces that came to fruition within the past years. By cultural forces, they mean the increasing prevalence of individualistic ideologies, which are the result of an inward shift of many cultural worldviews.
Researchers have determined that romantic love is a complex emotion that can be divided into either passionate or companionate forms. Passionate love is an arousal-driven emotion that often gives people extreme feelings of happiness, and can also give people feelings of anguish.
Researchers have described the stage of passionate love as "being on cocaine", since during that stage the brain releases the same neurotransmitter, dopamine, as when cocaine is being used. Robert Firestone, a psychologist, has a theory of the fantasy bond, which is what is mostly created after the passionate love has faded. A couple may start to feel really comfortable with each other to the point that they see each other as simply companions or protectors, but yet think that they are still in love with each other.
Hendrick and Hendrick  studied college students who were in the early stages of a relationship and found that almost half reported that their significant other was their closest friend, providing evidence that both passionate and companionate love exist in new relationships.
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Conversely, in a study of long-term marriages, researchers Contreras, Hendrick, and Hendrick,  found that couples endorsed measures of both companionate love and passionate love and that passionate love was the strongest predictor of marital satisfaction, showing that both types of love can endure throughout the years.
Psychologist Robert Sternberg  developed the triangular theory of love. He theorized that love is a combination of three main components: passion physical arousal ; intimacy psychological feelings of closeness ; and commitment the sustaining of a relationship. He also theorized that the different combinations of these three components could yield up to seven different forms of love.
These include popularized forms such as romantic love intimacy and passion and consummate love passion, intimacy, and commitment. The other forms are liking intimacycompanionate love intimacy and commitmentempty love commitmentfatuous love passion and commitmentand infatuation passion.
On the other hand, Acker and Davis  found that commitment was the strongest predictor of relationship satisfaction, especially for long-term relationships. Researchers Arthur and Elaine Aron  theorized that humans have a basic drive to expand their self-concepts.
A study following college students for 10 weeks showed that those students who fell in love over the course of the investigation reported higher feelings of self-esteem and self efficacy than those who did not Aron, Paris, and Aron, . Recent research suggests that romantic relationships impact daily behaviors and people are influenced by the eating habits of their romantic partners.
Specifically, in the early stages of romantic relationships, women are more likely to be influenced by the eating patterns i. Daniel Canary from the International Encyclopedia of Marriage  describes relationship maintenance as "At the most basic level, relational maintenance refers to a variety of behaviors used by partners in an effort to stay together.
He says that: "simply staying together is not sufficient; instead, the quality of the relationship is important. For researchers, this means examining behaviors that are linked to relational satisfaction and other indicators of quality.
Another topic of controversy in the field of romantic relationships is that of domestic abuse. Following the theory that romantic love evolved as a byproduct of survival, it can be said that in some instances, it has turned into a maladaptation.
Oxytocin is a neurophysical hormone produced in the brain. It is known to cause a decrease in stress response. It also can cause an increase in feelings of attachment. In the beginning stages of a romantic relationship, OT levels surge and then remain relatively stable over the duration of the relationship. The higher the surge of OT, the greater the likelihood is of partners staying together.
Individuals ranked high in rejection sensitivity exhibited aggressive tendencies and decreased willingness for cooperation, indicating a link between oxytocin and relationship maintenance.
The feelings associated with romantic love function to ensure the greater reproductive fitness of individuals. The obligations of individuals in romantic relationships to preserve these bonds are based in kin selection theory, where by exhibiting aggressive behavior, a mate can use intimidation and dominance to ward off other potential predators, thus protecting the pair bond and their actual or potential offspring.
This has however evolved to the point where it has become detrimental to the fitness of individuals; what is causing attachment to occur in a relationship, is now causing one partner to harm the other.
In the search for the root of intimate partner violence IPVintranasal oxytocin was administered to a control group and a group of participants with aggressive tendencies. Participants were then surveyed on how willing they were to engage in 5 behaviors towards their romantic partner.
· Learn what you need to know to love your partner and be romantic with wikiHow's Love and Romance category! Whether you're still trying to figure out if you're in love or need advice on how to say "I love you" to that special someone, our how-to articles have plenty of tips. Get expert-approved advice on coaxing someone to fall in.
What they found was that oxytocin increased IPV inclinations only among the participants with a predisposition towards aggressive tendencies. This, coupled with its role in relationship maintenance, illustrates that oxytocin serves to instill a sense of territoriality and protectiveness towards a mate.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. This article is about a type of emotional attachment. For the modern popular-fiction genre, see Romance novel. For the historical era associated with the arts, see Romanticism. For other uses, see Romance disambiguation. Type of love that focuses on feelings. This article has multiple issues.
Dating, Love, and Romance Tips. K likes. traveltimefrom.com Text your ex back using text messages created especially for you to send to your Подписчики: 1,3 тыс. Love dating romance - Is the number one destination for online dating with more marriages than any other dating or personals site. Men looking for a man - Women looking for a woman. Is the number one destination for online dating with more relationships than any other dating or personals site. Romance is an emotional feeling of love for, or a strong attraction towards another person, and the courtship behaviors undertaken by an individual to express those overall feelings and resultant emotions.
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