Advice for Dating a Chinese Girl - From a Chinese Girl
Dating and marrying the wrong person could cause embarrassment to the whole family. People consider a bad marriage decision as a bad reflection on the family. When a woman chooses the wrong person, some traditional Chinese families have disowned their children when they defy them and marry whoever they wish. China requires its women to be educated, pass the rigorous college entrance examination and begin professional education.
Dating is hardly tolerated among high school students. Most Chinese students finish schooling with little romantic experience compared to their American counterparts. For most Chinese girls serious dating only begins after they finish schooling. Sex before marriage is usually frowned upon. However, the attitudes toward sex are changing and more Chinese women are viewing sex as a good sign of a growing relationship that is headed the marriage way.
The Chinese men, however, say they would prefer to marry a woman who is a virgin. Most Chinese will date with the intention of marriage. Young Chinese women are usually under pressure from society to find a good husband to marry them. Marriage is valued a lot in China and dating while in the early 20s is widely encouraged. According to Chinese culture, things change as soon as you begin dating. Chinese couples love wearing matching outfits and they also have the same group of friends and social circles.
Such practices are unheard of in western dating culture where each partner has their own boundaries, a circle of friends, social life and matching outfits is a rare thing. Still, not all Chinese women call their boyfriends Husband.
If you are planning to date a Chinese woman, consider the above Chinese culture dating practices. Let me tell you guys my experiences with dating and in China. I have had relationships with white, black and Indian women in the past, and as a single guy I was open to dating women of any race, but given that I live in China it should not come as a surprise that almost all of the people I meet in my daily life are Chinese and that I ended up marrying a Chinese lady.
I have to make this point because some people usually western women seem to think that a white guy in a relationship with an East Asian women has some kind of fetish. How can I meet a local girl too?
I must admit that, compared to some other countries, it is difficult to find local women who speak English. It helps immensely if you can at least speak passable Chinese. My wife told me that the only issue her parents were worried about when she told them she had a western boyfriend was whether or not I could speak Chinese. When she told them I could, they were more than happy to meet me and let me date their daughter.
If you can speak Chinese, or are at least willing to make a serious effort to learn, you will find it very, very easy to find beautiful, intelligent Chinese women who want to date you.
There are several places you can meet English-speaking Chinese women:. English corners, which often take place at coffee houses or on university campuses, are an opportunity for Chinese English-speakers to get together and practice their English with each other and foreign guests.
Cultural events are not only fun, but also a great place to meet English-speaking Chinese women. If Chinese women notice foreigners wondering what is going on at a traditional festival, for example, they will often offer to explain, which will give an opportunity to strike up a conversation.
Western-style coffee houses such as Starbucks and Costa Coffee are often frequented by fashionable young women who have more of a westernized worldview.
These women have often travelled abroad, speak English and are very open to dating western guys. You could also sign up to a Chinese class. There is a good chance they will hold Chinese corners where you can meet beautiful Chinese women who both speak English and want to help you practice Chinese!
I must warn against doing what we would do in the UK and try to meet girls in bars. Remember that when foreigners are in your home country, you like them to be respectful. Chinese people expect the same. If you show an interest in Chinese culture especially the food she will love you for it. There is not really such a thing as casual dating in China.
If a girl agrees to date you, you have to understand that she has an eye towards the future. She wants to be your girlfriend but she hopes that she will soon be your wife. A lot of Chinese women have had their hearts broken by western men who they had dated and who later decided to return to their home countries, leaving their girlfriends. While it is true that Chinese women like a man who can make decisions, and to be dominant in bed, they can be very strong-willed and will have no problem, once they feel comfortable with you, shouting at you, even in public.
One common sight here is a woman giving her boyfriend or husband an ear-bashing in the street while he just stands there, silently hanging his head in shame. Your Chinese girlfriend will also appreciate you showing your love in a physical way. If you give her a kiss in front of her friends you will hear their exclamations of jealousy.
Once you meet her parents it is implicit that you want to marry their daughter and there is no going back. If her family invites you to spend Chinese New Year with them this is a very big deal.
Of course, in a country with 1 billion inhabitants, around 49 female, you are bound to find any kind of girl. But taking the risk of falling into stereotypes, here is a list of ten things you should be aware of when dating Chinese girls. I hope it helps you. # 1 - They donít talk much about themselves. / 51 Secrets of Dating Chinese Girls (Interview With Lucy) 51 Secrets of Dating Chinese Girls (Interview With Lucy) Last ated on June 5, especially if you make an effort to learn Chinese and adapt to Chinese culture. In this situation, a girl from a small city or even from the countryside can become a wonderful. Chinese Dating Culture: The Basic Rules. Your knowledge concerning Chinese dating culture will make or break your search for a Chinese companion. Knowing how to navigate your way through the basic rules will save you some trouble and help you get to the good stuff.
It means they already see you as their future son-in-law. Only do it if you are seriously planning to become so. As Lucy said in the above article, many Chinese women would give their right arm to have half-white babies. This might be a controversial thing to say, but in my experience it is true. She was practically salivating when she said it, despite the fact that her husband was standing next to her.
Just be careful, because if you use this tactic you might just end up with them! One final thing I want to add is also an uncomfortable truth. Again, I am simply telling what I have seen firsthand and heard from Chinese women themselves. In Chinese culture, dark skin is seen as ugly. It is for this reason that Chinese women use so many skin-whitening products. Three black friends of mine, two American and one from Ghana, have all complained to me how much difficulty they have in finding a Chinese girlfriend.
All I can tell them is, keep trying! If anyone wants to ask me any questions in regards to my experiences in China, please feel free to do so!
And I never really dated an Caucasian bf, I have lots of Caucasian buddies. But I go clubbing only for the music and dance, I never screw anyone from the club, EDM is a kind of music, not every girl in a night club is slut. Rave is an outlet of passion, there are people who truly love dancing, just dancing. I do expect him to make the plan and pay the bill 8 out of 10 times, not all the time. But the entire article based on a small city girl who married to an Caucasian to live outside China which is a typical group of girls in China, and there are so many other types.
I gave up my ex because he tends to be not loyal, he is Chinese. White or Asian, I believe in love, I used to think that I should never date a white guy, because of the cultural differences, now I decided to break down the boundaries, after being badly wounded and partly healed, I decide to see if he has a truly gentle, sincere, caring heart, if he is funny, curious, capable, rather than the skin colour.
This is my weChat ID gorenc incase you would like us to make some conversations to know more about each other. In smaller cities, western men and women! These cities also seem to have lots of foreigners in them. The downside is, of course, that people in these cities are generally not very knowledgeable about western culture and are less likely to speak English.
I have dated many different nationalities. A Ukraine lady I dated in the Ukraine.You Know You are Dating a CHINESE Woman When...
Wanted sex on the first date. Very beautiful lady but frightening. I refused. Mainland Chinese ladies I have dated. If you are a British white man. The ladies fall in love quickly. I am at the moment feeling bad for hurting many Chinese ladies.
Many have little sexual experience the Chinese ladies. Some are materialistic but most work hard for the money they earn. First few drink wine. But when they have had beer their faces turn red. Chinese hot tea or hot water. The make-up they buy is extensive. But they are very beautiful ladies.
My Chinese girlfriends have visited me in England. Be aware they want marriage. British men are more forward than Chinese men.
10 Things To Be Aware Of When Dating Chinese Girls
Which they like. No understanding of life outside of China. Now I get onto Filipina ladies. First they do not use make-up much. They need training on how to apply it. Beautiful without it. Exercise with your Filipina lady daily. So many ladies looking for love in the Philippines. Go on the Cupid dating site. You will be swamped with ladies contacting you.
Just ignore any lady who asks for money or ladies who are materialistic. Ladies in Philippines do not hide their feelings. Chinese ladies are the same. Make sure you have a little gift for your girlfriend when meeting as she will have a gift for you. Red roses a good idea. Try not to hurt Asian ladies it gives you bad Karma. When a lady is in love with you it is hard to walk away. I expect you have many women fall in love with you Sabastian.
How do you feel? Me not good when I remember my girlfriends. So many lonely women in the world. Chinese men do not want them when they are older. A lady with a degree in China frightens a Chinese man.
Even worse if they are rich. I am 62 years of age much younger women do not care about a mans age. Funny to see you guys talking about Chinese girls like this. What I would like to say is just that every Chinese girl is different. Those Chinese girls who have received higher eduction can normally be no difference with westerners.
Chinese girl dating culture
Hi Sebastian, I agree that everyone has a different personality. It may depend on their upbringing or environment. Recently, I started talking to a Chinese lady here in the U. WeChat was the first thing she requested. She informed me that she is 49, has been married in U. She is from NE China and said she worked in construction there before coming to U.
She had posted pictures of her younger cousin and a couple of herself which told me about, and her location changing frequently on her profile. She says she is legal resident on U. So does it sound like a scam or real Chinese lady? Hm I dated a Chinese girl in college. I knew nothing about them. She was from the mainland.
She told me her father owned some restaurants in Hong Kong.
Her brother told me they were bars. My friends old me Chinese women could be subtle. Three weeks dating and it was Harry when are you going to buy me something. What the hell happened to subtle? I do not know if Suzy represented the average Chinese woman but she did give me an education about dating a Chinese woman. I was married for 12 years to an absolutely gorgeous and sexy looking Chinese oversexed woman i met and married in Nanjing China when i was working there.
When 3 yrs later we moved to Canada, my home country, i am Caucasian, within like a year at most she was a very different woman than the one i married. She had by then accumulated a fair number of Chinese female friends here, a few of them divorced and single again, and i started to notice that the single ones had a fairly decent number of men friends, not just one, and most of the men also were a lot younger than the ladies.
And I also picked up on and got my wife during sex to verify for me, cause during sex she gets so into it she would tell u anything u care to know, even if she really did not want u to know that stuff at all, so during sex she told me that a few the Chinese women she was good friends with here in Canada, and not just the single ones but a few of the married ones also, that they were highly active sexually with other men, not their husbands, and the single ones i found out were just straight right out sexual wild ones, and with the right guy they met say one night at a bar and got to know a bit there, would not hesitate to let him fuck her that same night.
So i told my wife, be careful, these women u know well now could be a bad influence on you, me already knowing a few of her female friends had been telling her how hot and exciting it is t fuck other men. She told me not to worry, these women will never influence her that way. Well, 2 yrs ago, i came home from a business trip 2 days early on a friday, had called her many times but she did not answer her cell phone, to meet me at the airport cause i was coming home that night,and got home by taxi and found her in our king size bed being fucked silly by a 28 yr old black fitness trainer that worked at the gym she went to, and watched from the hallway for a while cause the bedroom door was wide open and i had a pefect ringside seat view, and of course realized then that the innocent woman i thought i had married was not so innocent at all.
Now, to add to the story, 3 other white canadian men i know that married chinese women born and raised in china have had the same thing happen to them,their wife cheating on them. So i say, beware, know who she is if u are thinking of marrying her, and keep in mind that chinese women are masters at lying and also acting however they need to for their benefit. Sebastian, thanks so much for your article.
I have been talking with a very beautiful young 24 Chinese girl for a while. I have some concerns. I am not a rich man.
Every woman is unique and you can't expect everyone to have the same qualities similar to a Chinese girl. Find out these inside tips on what to expect when dating a Chinese woman. Chinese dating is wonderful and intriguing just like any other dating. For westerners and other people from all over the world interested in learning about the Chinese dating culture in order to make their relationships stronger or find the ideal Chinese woman to spend the rest of their lives with, there is . Of course, these are all just generalizations, and they donít apply to all Chinese people. More than tradition, society, or culture, dating in China is governed by what the specific individuals in the relationship think and feel, and itís not too hard to find Chinese couples that donít fit all or even any of the general observations above.
I am much older than she is. I have had a number of surgeries on my back that limits what I can do i. I am convinced the she is being totally honest with me. Try to visit her first. And of course, chat with her on Skype and actually see her multiple times before you even think about visiting her. Well what an eye opener, I am 52 years old divorced, An Architect with a masters degree. So What?
I am Jewish but American, family in Israel. I met Ling she works 12 hours a day in this laundry she personally does my laundry and folds all my clothes. She has a beautiful smile and seems very happy. I always look forward to seeing her.
Last week I asked her to go to Lunch with me she gave me her cell phone number and asked me to text her. I did and she responded thanking me for the invitation and that she would contact me.
The New Chinese Dating Culture. Much has changed on the concept of dating and relationships in China. But there are still certain things the countryís people uphold up to this day of open-mindedness and casual relationships.
She is well traveled so she is far from a mail order bride. She is giving, caring, tough as nails with an exterior of flowers, almost methodical in learning how to please me in the bed and the kitchen.
Thank you for this article. Things got bad for a week there but then I had to seek some advice. This really helped me slow down, listen more, and give her room to also appreciate the confusing parts of me. Very entertaining article to read, thanks for sharing! I got a laugh out of the comment about small towns being less than 10 million, I heard the same thing from the Chinese people I work with in the good old USA.
But she has been pretty coy a couple times when I asked if she wanted to get dinner on the weekend. Hey Franz, the girls from smaller cities less than 10 million :-P are more traditional.
Some of them have never been on a date with a foreigner. In addition to that, the social judgement is higher. In this situation, a girl from a small city or even from the countryside can become a wonderful, loving and devoted girlfriend or wife.
Hey Sebstian, Am particularly interested in Korean girls. Would you be able to publish an article regarding Korean girls next time? Thanks, we enjoyed also learning about Chinese girls too.
Keep up with you good works! Hey Ebby, I already published an article about Korean women. Hey Buddy, Chinese girls are indeed materialistic, at least most of them. They are different. Your email address will not be published. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
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She might be Chinese, BUT Beijing and Shanghai girls are too westernized. They consider work more important than family.
They are spoilt and high-maintenance. These two cities are overrun by foreigners. Are Down to earth. Believe in traditional gender roles. Would give their arm for meeting a man like you. Gets cute temper tantrums. Acts like a year-old child at least most of the time. Has more than 32 teddy bears in her bedroom. Just another 5 hours until I have time to log in China Love Cupid Guess which patriarchy is worse?
She told me where she met her husband I already knew that.
She told me why you should meet girls from Chengdu I had no idea. I sent 80 messages and received 62 replies.
I had a response rate of The girls who replied could speak English. After eating this you will beg her to marry you You are the only man among dozens of beautiful girls. You are the only foreigner in the class. You will be questioned.
What to Expect When It Comes to Sex, Marriage, and Parents
She wants to know everything about you. Tell her that you want to go on a date with her. Tell her where you want her to meet. Tell her when she should show up and say that you expect her to be on time.
Her light skin even if she has darker skin Her long legs even if they look like French fries Her style even if she looks like the girl in the picture below. Study the Chinese culture. Chinese sex culture in two words: No education. Contraceptive use: Only 1. Maybe you feel ashamed that you have yellow fever PsstI have it too. Maybe a white girl you know told you that dating Asian girls is weird.
Maybe you are still not sure if you should read my China Love Cupid review. Yes, really! You stink? She will tell you. Your shirt looks terrible? She will take you to the hairdresser. Ohhhh, a temper tantrum is coming So, do they actually like sex? And how are Chinese girls in bed?