Dating Outside Your Age Bracket - I Married an Older Man - AmandaMuseWhen I was 25, I spent a year dating a man 20 years older than me. The Older Man was also my editor, which added a power imbalance to the mix—a dynamic we all know can be equal parts problematic and irresistible. I wonder: What do we gain and lose from dating someone of a different generation? The Older Man was a peculiar person. For one, he wore silk onesie pajamas that he meticulously ironed to have a crease down the center of the pant leg. For instance, we were both making our first attempts at writing books.
Thanks x 9.
Me personally, I love an older man. I've always been attracted to them and I see myself marrying an older man as well. For me, I'm not gonna lie, it does seem weird that a year-old man would want a barely legal girl as his partner.
And while not every older man is creepy, abusive and controlling, a lot do look for younger women to manipulate and "mold" into their liking. My ex-boyfriend was the epitome of all of those words. I had just turned 20 and he lied about his age. I later found out that he was 49, but he didn't look it. Soon enough, he started yelling at me, threatening me, isolating me from my family and friends, making me have sex with him when I didn't want to and we all know what that's calledintentionally tried to get me pregnant and of course It didn't take me long to get away from him thankfully, but I had already started showing signs of "battered woman syndrome" and it took me a while to stop looking over my shoulder.
Just know, karma is biting him in the ass. He took care of me and even wanted to get married, but I realized I wouldn't be happy down the road. He was old, stubborn and had no plans on changing himself for the better. To be honest with you, if I would've said yes, I realize that I'd also be possibly signing myself up to be a widow and I didn't want that.
But this might not be the case when dating a man who is 20+ years older than you. As the dictum says, old habits die hard. And since older men. Personally - no way in hell. If a 50 something guy legitimately connects heart/ mind with a 20 something girl - that to me implies the older person. For a long term relationship to truly work you have to have some common ground and if you're years older than someone they would be.
I love d him too much to watch him die slowly from things that could've been easily prevented. I didn't mean to be so long-winded, but be careful out here.
Ruth Dawkins fell for a man 35 years older than she is. Almost exactly a year after we started dating, Young whisked me off to Paris for a long. It can be ok, depending. Obviously you're a woman, probably in your 20s, which makes your prospective datee probably in his 50s. I'm in my. Hi, I'm a woman dating a man 30 years older than me. Feel free to And for the record, he had been divorced for 5 years when I met him, so they don't hate me.
Chile, you make a lot of these age gap, May-December threads. Are you an older man trying to figure out how to get a much younger woman? Because I'm thinking maybe Apr 11, Once you're over 30 I don't think it matters how much older you go but under 25 nah that's too much.
Thanks x 10 Disagree!
Thanks x 2. Thanks x 6 LOL! I am I only date College seniors or fresh out. Sue me. Any women over 25 is washed lolz. I dated someone 20 years older. He was very stubborn, always convinced he was teaching me something, and obsessed over what my parents would think of us together.
He eventually left for a stripper. This whole Hollywood propaganda about young women and old men relationships needs to stop. Imagine a 20 yo woman and an 45 yo man.
I need my diapers changed. Just problems. Thanks x 10 LOL! Life is not about what other people think BadderNBoujee I don't know if you are the 18 year old but weigh the advice people give you then do what YOU want to do. At best, it will work out, at worst it won't and it will be a teachable moment.
Screw what people say because at the end of the day, they won't keep you warm at night or contribute a cent to your existence.
Dating a man 20 to 30 years older than you
You don't know whether the anonymous people giving you advice over the internet even have their lives together or they are a mess. I've shared my story several times about how I had my best relationship ever with my late husband whom I married in my early 20s when he was in his early 50s. It worked out for me but that's my story.
Older men can be dbags just like younger men or they can be good people. Skeptical x 3 Hugs! It felt as if we had come a very long way, very quickly. Our post-engagement anxiety was short-lived and seven months later, friends and family surrounded us for our wedding day.
It really was the happiest day of my life. My father, who is relieved to be older than my husband, if only by six months, gave a moving speech, noting that even before I'd told him about Young he knew there was someone special in my life because every time we spoke on the phone I had "bubbles in my voice".
I was surprised on the day to realise that I had no nerves, just a calm feeling that this was absolutely the right thing. When Young began his vows, we locked eyes and the only way I got through mine without wobbling was by holding his gaze. We had only changed the chaplain's suggested wording in one way — instead of "Until death do us part" we said "For as long as we both shall live".
We were determined that our marriage should reflect our general attitude towards life, and we wanted to emphasise the positives. Our son, Tom, arrived around 18 months later and having a child has made our "live for the moment" philosophy even more pertinent. I'll say it so you don't have to — my husband is probably going to die while our son is still pretty young. Although knowing him as I do, I wouldn't put money on that.
Dating guy 30 years older
His current stance is that he would be happy if he lived to 95, which is another 33 years. I'm holding out for Again, we knew that having a child was an enormous decision, and we talked about it endlessly, making sure that we were doing it for the right reasons and not purely selfish ones.
We knew we could provide a safe, happy and loving home for a baby, but how would we work things out financially in the future, given the different stages we were at in our careers?
How would our child cope if his daddy's health declined?Dating Outside Your Age Bracket - I Married an Older Man - AmandaMuse
How would I manage if I ended up being a carer for my child and husband? What if he or she were bullied at school because dad looked like grandpa? There were many questions we couldn't answer definitively, but in the end we had to trust our instincts.
Why Dating Someone Older Isn’t Always Such a Bad Idea
There are no guarantees, whatever your age. We know very well that couples the same age, who look like a perfect match on paper, can't always make things work when they have children. Hierophant Send a private message. Personally - no way in hell.
Dating an older man isn't about the age -- it's about the lifestyle. Even though this guy and I were 25 years apart, we had a lot in common. We worked in the same A year-old playing 30 grew past its prime for me. So the oldest person I should date, or marry, should be no older than I've been a rule breaker more recently in life, as I felt for many years like I needed to. what it's like to be in love with a man almost 30 years older than her. my surprise, most of my friends were unfazed when we started dating.
Chances are he is mostly interested in the younger woman as a sex object and status symbol "Hey, I can still pull young women - I still got it! You can listen to the exceptions but is about as useful as deciding that playing the lottery should be your retirement vehicle.
Maybe you might hit big - but chances are you wont. I'd go find a younger man you can connect and grow with were I in your shoes - at least someone younger than your father who might actually know about the bands you are into and less about his AARP membership details. Delete Report Edit Reported Reply. Hierophant : Okay thannks for your answer and opinion. I was asking because this guy I've known for a few years really love me but he's allot older. I wish I felt the same way about him but I don't and I think it has everything to do with the age difference.
He also has two nearly grown kids. He isn't a rich man so even if I did date him it wouldn't be about the money. If he were younger I'd date him in a heartbeat. I have yet to meet a guy my age as respectful as him.
Why are older men so kind and respectful, while the younger ones are assholes and players? Anonymous : There are still younger men out there who were raised right who aren't assholes or players. Plenty of them in fact, they just aren't as boisterous as their knuckle dragging peers are. From my 40something perspective, a 50 something isn't terribly older than I am and I can say that men of all ages have been known to sing whatever tune he thinks a woman wants if its going to lead to her panties.
This is not to say he is being disingenuous about his respect for you Again, still plenty of younger men who have been raised right Hierophant : In fact, it was him who always tells me that there aren't any good younger men amung my peers and he tells me I probably won't find another guy who will love and accept me the way he does.
It was probably a way to keep my eyes on him and discourage me from looking elsewhere :. This reply was removed by the author. Fabrics Send a private message. Hierophant : hierophant what is your oppinion on a 39 year old wanting to date a 27 year old is 12 years put in the same boat as a 30 year age gap?
Edited on August 3, at UTC by the author. Anonymous : This guy wants you To acknowledge that they may relate to you better or have more sexual stamina? Of course not, its in his best interests to minimize your peer group as much as possible while patting himself on the back as the superior option. Any man who says you cant do better than him - is best to be avoided. And that's not about age, just common sense! Fabrics : There is always a chance a guy is just after one thing with a woman regardless of age I think it is rather unlikely the typical 23 year old has anywhere near the life experience the typical 53 year old has