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Are they really ready for a committed relationship after Prison? - JPay Forum

Story time: Dating a man in prison! Part 1...

Each day guys, and gals, who went to prison for white-collar crimes come home with thoughts of resuming a normal life. I came out single and thought that dating would just be something that would come back to me, like riding a bike. I suppose I could have told her about my crime another time other than the first date, or I could email her with a link that announced my sentencing a few years prior. There never was a good time to tell anyone about my felony and I ended up meeting mainly with two types of women on my dates. What I decided was that I was looking for a woman whose parents were deceased or one who had an estranged relationship with her family. I counsel men and women who are fresh out of prison and they are on new turf when it comes to even the most simple of things, like dating. Once someone has emerged from prison, everything is going to take more time than it did prior to the experience, especially finding that significant other to complete your life.

It took me saying hey if there is something that you need and I can get you let me know. He even paid for the phone calls.

The whole time that we have been talking all he has ever done was support me, motivate me, and let him tell it love me from the bottom of his heart, and that makes things very scary for me because I know all about the jail talk.

Dating a man who has been incarcerated

My brother who is also in jail gave me all the details when it comes to jail talk. He and I talked about it and everything is just perfect. Then he said that we should take a break. So due to some very few minor things he thinks we should take a break and I fought him on it and so we are talking about all of this now. And with some if his replies it makes me think that maybe we should take a break and come back with fresh minds.

We talk everyday via omail and phone calls. I written to her after seeing her on an online post via snail mail. It was casual at first before I sent her an older pic of myself. I was won over by the Southern girl charm she has. I had cornrows when I taken the pic in in my now tattered LaRon Landry jersey. I was won over by her beauty, grace and her not being like the rest in the city I live in. I was at my last job for a long time and was shown the door back in may due to tardiness and I was planning to quit there anyway.

I really enjoy her beauty and personality. My marriage to a federal inmate was I thought to be pretty good. Married 18 years, together 20 years, I was dedictated to him until the end. Many doors were closed in our face but one door finally opened. At that time he had distanced himself from me but I thought he was having a rough time from being locked up for so long. My advice to any women in a relationship with an inmate, go live your life because they would NOT do it for you.

How disheartening! I believe in my love with all my heart but I will always remain cautious. I went through a similar situation last year. That man really hurt me! He told me that we were going to be together after his released. It never happened! All I can say is that we must be extremely careful because it really hurts! I and my now man who have been writing each other since last july, even though his estimated date wont be untilhe is really happy that i have given him the time of day to write a letter to him ,knowing someone on the outside loves himcaresmeens alot to him.

I have fallen for him the more he writes, its hard for me because my family dont want us to be together because of his charges. We reconnected via a social media site that someone was running for him. He is serving 22 years with 8 years left on a drug charge. I have committed to wait for him. Almost every single guy will talk to any woman who is willing to give them the time of day. They will say anything, and I do mean anything, to keep a line of communication open with a woman.

They love her, they want to marry her, they want her to meet the mama, the kids, ANYTHING is fair game, and they say the same things to multiple women, many times to several women in the same day. Here is the fundamental differences between a guys who are different:. They want an actual relationship with their children and their families back home.

This is the key. If they start talking about sex or marriage after a month, you are probably moving too fast, and they are just saying anything to keep you around or keep you interested.

He is honest with you about his past, including his crimes, his lifestyle, and his women.

However after someone has duly served his/her period of incarceration, there Dating someone who has been recently released from prison is unlike dating an . Taking the step to mentor an ex-prisoner could be one of the most rewarding things relationship in a positive way if they've never been in a healthy relationship before. not normally choose to date someone in prison or who just got out of prison. While incarcerated, prisoners learn to be on time for things or pay strict. So my dating experiences haven't gone beyond a few meet ups that have gone nowhere or I've just been dealing with the old faithful bench.

If he tells you that that it will be super easy to be faithful, or that he NEVER cheated, or that he was just dealing with crazy women but you are different, move carefully. He needs to be accountable for his past. If you feel peace and not just all starry-eyed or sexually aroused after communication with him or visiting him, then you probably have something real. Trust what you feel, and if you get doubtful, tell him. Remember this: while he is incarcerated, there is little he can offer you.

You are sacrificing time, probably money, and taking a huge gamble on someone with a very shaky past. All he can offer you right now if his love, honesty, and transparency. If you have a question about something, he should be willing and ready to answer it and prove his answer if he can. I had a good friend that was on death row. But he was able to get off because of some court things could not come through to charge him at the time of the trial.

But he was locked up for 11 in half years. Got out this year in March. His family and friends told he wanted me to contact him. So I reached out as a friend! We both started to write and he asked me to be his lady.

He was kewl with it. But I put money on the phone and for food etc. I did everything for him.

One plot-line has the women trying to figure out whether they should I never saw myself as dating someone who has been in jail at this point. Join Date: Nov ; Posts: I got several plans for my life and not all of them include a man who does not want to be . The way I see it ladies, a man is going to be a man rather he just getting out or never been in jail. Prosecutors in prison chaplain that have their circumstances don't make it has been incarcerated individuals' relationships the tradeoff were dating men.

He would always tell me I missed u so much. But I picked him up in March of this year. He was doing everything for him an a sweet heart. But got around his crew are should say his ex baby momma family. He total turned away from me and pushed me away.

Do u think he really loved me or not? He started to say I was stalking him and just being so mean to me. I did everything in my power for him and he treated me so bad why?

I cried my heart out and miss him so much and the kisses but most of all him. We talked everyday for six in half months. Do u think he has some kind of love or respect for me at all? Please need some real talk here. Hello Crystal, if this man is looking in your face and treating you like a stranger, then as hard as it is, move on!

I know it hurts love, I do. But any man, previously incarcerated or not, does not care for you in the way he should if he treats you that way. Did he ever love you? Only that man and God knows. So move on. Trust God with your life.

Perhaps He has something a whole lot better for you than some dude who is hung up on his baby mama. Keep your head up. Do you think he got rape and do you think he talks to other women. Those are answers you need to get from him.

I give him money cause he really be stressing about not having money. So I give the money to him to make him stop talking about money!

Well I really like him we talked about marriage and just stick it out forever. But I think he just telling me what I wanna hear.

And taking my money. So I did a test to figure out if my feelings for him just using me for my money was true. Its over. He says I said u would never leave me. U can finish your time and when u get putt maybe it will be different. I hung up! InI met my then boyfriend from write a prisoner. We lived in different states and his unit was about 3 hours from me.

We began as friends and we took it to another level a year later. I went to visit him every other month and talked on the phone almost every day. He never asked for money. We broke up a few times and we became stronger last year in He end up making parole and had to take a 6 month program and after that go into a halfway house for 90 days. We end up spending an intimate weekend when he had weekend passes from the halfway house and had a wonderful time. The next day I left and he called that night asking if I made it back home.

During that week, he acting funny towards me for no reason. He was on facebook and I was his friend. He was 2 months from coming home. He was coming home and wanted to dump me anyway so he could find other women to deal with. Unfortunately he did date quite a few women after me, but once they seen his true colors, they dumped him.

At the end, it was a big old lie. I talked to him a few times after and he was doing good but unfortunately he went back to jail for a parole violation. He seems happy with her. God does things for a reason. He took this man out of my life because he was manipulative, had anger issues and was mentally abusive. I loved this man and I took him back everytime we broke up.

Would I take him back again? Hell Noooo.

I was too blind to see the man he really was. I give every person a chance whether they are locked up or in the world.

There are assholes everywhere. His best friend and I still contact. His friend introduced me to his roommate. My new guy knows my ex. They were in the same unit. God takes people out to put new people in. I was talking to a man for 2yrs whobwas in jail and he told me how he wanted to be with me how he loves me and when he comes home its all about us.

I help him find his family because his ex girlfriend lie to his family about him so they stop talking to him. How can he just stop feeling a certain way for me after 2 yrs.

My boyfriend and I met online on December and we have been talking everyday and skyping too. He is a soldier, and he is now in prison for 3 months now, for political reasons that he is innocent from. I know he is innocent, because he was only a soldier for a couple of months so he got imprisoned before finishing a year.

Dating Tips #9 - When You Date a Jailbird

My boyfriend and I are from different countries, I had no idea how to reach him at first and I did not know if he were alive or not. Then, I found his family online and they told me he is good and healthy but he is in prison. Since this is a political case we have no idea when he will go out, but he sent me letters saying just wait for 1 year, after that year you can get married to another guy if you want, but please wait for me.

My boyfriend and I never met face to face, but we have huge love for each other and I cannot imagine myself with another guy. Can someone give me suggestions to what I can do so that this journey would be easier on me? I can tell you that I have seen more than one scammer, abuser etc.

On a close level to pedophile. I am bisexual and saying this. A little over a year ago now, I met my bf online. Not only is our relationship complicated because he is incarcerated for another 2 years, but we also live in different countries. Let me just say, every aspect of this relationship is completely new to me.

Finally this past week I got to spend my last two days there with his family. This made things a whole lot more real for the both of us. That being said there are still times when I am unsure whether he truly wants this. For example the other day I spoke with my ex about the possibility of moving outside the country with the kids and he gave me the ok. We have both grown up in completely different worlds, so I do not expect for him to think like me, but I do need to feel a sense of security in this relationship.

Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Side note: in the past I have offered to send him money however he has always told me not to worry about it. I met an guy in prison in June And things been good and steady.

Although I have had a few dates with women since I have been released. What drives a person to date someone in jail/prison, especially if. One in every 34 adults in the United States has been incarcerated, is currently incarcerated or is under supervision of some kind by the Department of. You've decided you want to date a prisoner. I've been in prison for years with some people, then one day I see a photo of them in the free world, or overhear.

My concern is how can one stop thinking negative and ride it out. How to stop the negative thoughts and just believe its true is so hard. A thumbs up and good information on things to know and expect on prison dating and relationships.

I found it helpful when it comes to situations like these. It see. Just asking. Im in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for about 2 years now. We would talk on the phone every night and day without fail. We fought and broke up many times and we would also mend things back together. Thank you in advance!

I came out single and thought that dating would just be something that would not imagine my daughter bringing home, “Walter who just got out of jail. Once someone has emerged from prison, everything is going to take.

Hi Im Palesa and Im 20yrs old. I sometimes think that maybe he will change and maybe not. I sometimes want to leave him but at some point he needs me and he needs my support.

I meet my man four years ago and he told me he was in prison for most is young aduth life. He is back in again amd all O can say is I truely hope he is true to his words to you.

Mine his words are cheap and they all say they changevin prison. Seeing is unbelieving. How do you know if they are writing others? Seeing others? How can you tell? My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year now. She has been incarcerated for the past 18 years.

We meet on a prisoner pen pal site. And after a few months feeling started developing between us. We both made a mutual decision to start a relationship with her still locked up. There has been good and bad times. They biggest thing that has kept us committed to each other is communication and honesty. When ever one of us has a problem with each other, we talk about it and work out a solution. Only thing is our time scale is 6mths correspondening at the moment.

Cheers N. Falling in love with an inmate who has a murder a felony charge.

He has been incarcerated for 2 years and now going on trial. It would be nice to talk to you since you met your significant other and did not judge them even though the situation that she was in. I hope to hear from you soon. Tons of amazing guys in prison. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. Previous Next. Ask not only about their conviction but about the circumstances that led up to their choice. This is one of the safest and earliest ways to test compatibility while still locked up.

No matter how mindful you are, there will be challenges. Good luck! Matthew Walker is serving 15 years in Minnesota for criminal sexual misconduct.

Michelle August 7, at am - Reply. Amelia Catherine Graham May 18, at am - Reply. Marie June 18, at am - Reply. Aj August 19, at pm - Reply. Susan May 11, at pm - Reply. Trisha Morgan February 25, at pm - Reply. April Gordon January 20, at pm - Reply. Taylor April 16, at am - Reply. I met the love of my life too.

He had a few more loves then just me though. Fredrick Klaus January 9, at am - Reply. Dee January 5, at pm - Reply. True Crime Fanatic September 3, at pm - Reply. I really feel that Doreen Lioy would have benefited from this list. Modie Cruise July 14, at pm - Reply.

Colette December 22, at pm - Reply. Amber October 21, at pm - Reply. Kay December 28, at am - Reply. Hope Penttila April 5, at pm - Reply. Even the guys in there question dudes on the way out that had those ride or die wifeys by their side. Of course every situation and man Is different so I do want to hear your position on why your man is and will be ready.

OG says he had his fill of the streets and woman on the streets. But I know temptation is a mother! I got several plans for my life and not all of them include a man who does not want to be wifed up,lol! Tags: committedprisonreadyrelationship. I think it depends on the person. Some i think believe they are,and are very sincere but their relationship skills are sorely lacking.

This is why i think both me and mine's choice to have him parole to a HWH was the wisest thing for US. He had a rough start,initially. It was much harder than he anticipated,so throw in the mix him living with myself and my 3 children on top of everything else,well,i think it would have been extremely stressful for him. While i believe some ARE sincerely ready yet may be unprepared for the stress of readjusting,there are those who have no intention of staying with the woman who held them down.

This is why i think it's very wise to go slow and take your time. Actions over a period of time,speak much louder than words. I will say,just because the person may be lacking in relationship skills,doesn't mean he's a dud or a loser. I always say patience is the key to making it after release unless of course they are abusive,etc I also think it's wise for no woman to make a man her everything.

That way if things don't work out,she won't feel her whole life has come crashing down. She will still have things to focus on and live for.

Comment Cancel Post. DEpends on the person but I know if my baby Came home and said he needed to be single I break some ish up for real Posted via Mobile Device. I think that every woman would love to say that their man is ready to commit to a relationship; however, I dont know that it would be a fair statement.

In my heart, I want to believe that my husband is ready to commit. I met my husband before he was incarcerated, but we were not in a committed relationship before he went in.

We were actually very close friends. He helped me through a time in my life when I needed someone. You can catch that story in another thread! He was willing to take care of a child that he knew was not his, but never got the opportunity. I never told him how I felt before the night that he was incarcerated. After years of keeping in touch, we began to open up about certain situations that we were both dealing with around the time he left, and feelings came out in those discussions.

It turns out that we were both dealing with some tragic events, but he was too much of a "man" to discuss those things with me when we were "friends". One thing about us We never judged each other on the type of lives that we lived and we never put each other down for decisions that we made. Now, saying all of this, we were married this year while he was in, and as much as I like to think that he will "act right" when he comes home, I just dont know. I dont doubt that he loves me! I know he does and his actions prove that.

But, I know that it will not be peaches and cream when he comes home! One thing that I do know If he comes home and we experience issues, we will try our best to work through them and remain together! We have too much invested to throw it all way! We have almost 20 years of TRUE friendship and trust and I dont think that either one us would do anything to jeapordize that!!!!

If he isnt ready, I dont know how I would react! I cannot imagine my life without my best friend in it.

Now, saying all that, my husband has been in prison for over 17 years and he is 48 years old, and he has only had me and his family that stuck by him the entire time! I really think it depends on each individual man.

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Some men in prison and out will never be ready for a committed relationship. We just have to live life and hope that we have found our soulmate!! When you do find the one, trust me, you will know!!! Last edited by PoohBear ;PM. Well I must be honest and say that my husband was not ready for a committed relationship the last time he got out.

He said he was but believe me once he got off that monitor, he went buck wild. The streets still had a hold on him. He had done 15 years and I believe that he was trying to relive those years he spent locked up; all of his 20s! I've already let him know that I have zero tolerance and if he gets out and does the same thing, I'm gone. I love him to death and it will hurt but it will hurt only for a little while and I will eventually get over it. I have to love myself more.

When I read some of these posts, I just shake my head because I know first hand what its like when they get home and that's not saying everyone is alike because they're not. Just my experience. My baby always says he is ready because he did everything coming in and that he never had a real girl and now that he see what having a family is like that he will not walk away but I do question it and honestly he told me he prayed about it as well. He said he asked God was prison playing a mind game with him because he didnt want to hurt me.

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