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10 Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter . Funny

8 Simple Rules... for Dating My Teenage Daughter Sea1Epis8 - By the Book

While dads may be glad to see their daughter happy or in love, when it comes to dating, there are some hard-line rules that NO suitor should cross, unless they want to meet the kind of special wrath only angry dads can dish out. After a dinner in which a young lady introduces her fiancee to her parents, her mother instructs her father to go on a fact-finding mission An old, tired looking dog keeps wandering into the house next door. An old college professor goes back to his former campus and finds his office. He promptly knocks on the door

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Date my daughter jokes

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Enjoy the jokes! Rule Two You do not touch my daughter in front of me.

While dads may be glad to see their daughter happy or in love, when it comes to dating, there are some hard-line rules that NO suitor should cross, unless they want to meet the kind of special wrath only angry dads can dish out. If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a : Shai Kuritzky. My daughter walked into the living room and said, "Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, forget my college tuition loan, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out the window, take my TV and my laptop. Please take any of my jewelry to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters. Top rules for gay dating my daughter joke 10 rules for dating someone more items from 9 or personals site.5 Things singles gay dating sites ottawa You Should Know About My Dad - BLACK SHIRT. Simplified dating my daughter: Is entitled 10 rules for dating or answer to me.

You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. Rule Three I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear theirs trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: you may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.

However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

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Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you. Rule Five In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day.

Dating my daughter jokes

Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you.

If you make her cry, I will make you cry. Rule Seven As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh, and fidget.

If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.

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My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Rule Eight The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or pastors within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.

Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided Hockey games are okay.

Old folks homes are better. Rule Nine Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless commander of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

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I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me. Rule Ten Be afraid.

Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. His friend suggested that he try using the Health-O-Meter at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.

The Health-O-Meter started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting.

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It will be better in two weeks. Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter.

To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:.

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Get a water softener. Your dog has worms.

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Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls.

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Get a lawyer. A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house.

"10 Rules For Dating My Daughter" Rule One If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. Rule Two You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. Everything that can go wrong when you dare to date my daughter jokes. Rules for dating my teenage daughter: Rule 1: If you pull into my driveway and honk youd better be delivering a package, because youre not picking anything up. Application to date my daughter - as a father of 4 daughters, I appreciate this! Laughed out loud reading the final paragraph, hope you will too! Best Clean Funny Jokes. Jokes that are clean, funny, and for you! About; Home Dating jokes Application to date my daughter.

He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man.

Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Dirty Dating My Daughter Jokes, Sick Dating My Daughter Joke, Funny Dating My Daughter Jokes, Gross Dating My Daughter Jokes Dating My Daughter When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend s father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter .

Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy. He woke in the morning with the feel of pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle.

Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder.

As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost. My daughter walked into the living room and said, "Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, forget my college tuition loan, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out the window, take my TV and my laptop.

Please take any of my jewelry to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters.

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