Me and My Mother-In-Law - Truth or Drink - Cut
Someone in my Twitter feed posted this question so I came to take a look. There is nothing you can do but let the relationship run its course. It may make for some awkward family gatherings, but your mom deserves to try to be happy. How painful is it for you to see your mom find happiness with the father of who you found happiness with? Answer Save. How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
Aundrea D. Unhappiness is a lonely painful life Show more answers 8. Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now. Establish boundaries from the get-go. This is the biggest piece of advice I can give to any bride. If you see red flags, immediately nip it in the bud. My husband has been lying to me about money that his mother has been giving him, She has been telling him to hide it from me and he goes along with it because he needs the money.
She is a full blown narcissist. How do I deal with this? Does he lie often? Does he have a codependent relationship with his mother? This might be something to address in family therapy. How can I get my husband to stand up to his toxic mother and ask her to act like an adult and not a bully?
Or is divorce my only option now to make her happy? What do you want to happen? Do you believe your husband can change this much? Or is there something you can do to affect a change?
How Would You Seduce Your Mother In-law?
Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites. I just want to thank you so much for this article because it made me feel so much better after reading it. I also have a toxic mother in law and she is currently living with my husband, our 9 months old daughter, and I.
The issue is that she thinks our house is her house and she makes sure everyone knows too. She talks shit behind our back all the time and I would here it after from some family members.
We even made plans about building a back house for her so we can have some privacy. We even pay for her car payment and everythingggg. My daughter MIL. When my daughter 1st met her husband, it seemed as if she met the perfect person, along with the perfect in-laws. Fast forward 2 years later, to the year they got married. My daughter has been grooming me how to act around this new family.
They are perfect dad. They are God fearing and very religious. That was ok with us, but then the games began.
They got married and decided to have a child. She became very reluctant to what she invited us including our extended family to.
She would prep us and tell us not to swear of drink. The 1st gathering of their we went to was the 4th of July celebration. They did not swear like sailors, but they said the sh t word here and there. We stayed prim and proper as one could be. My whole family including extended family has also been shunned by them, in the way of my daughters doing. We were at a loss of what to do. We are at a loss of what to do or even think of them. Then the words of what my daughter uttered to me made me angry and resentful.
Having a narcissistic mother-in-law can be quite a challenge for you and your partner. This page focuses the way in-laws may affect your relationship. If I ever behave like that, please punch me in the face - and I promise to do the same for you. We created this vow because over the years, we’ve observed patterns of objectionable behavior in mothers-in-law patterns that we very strongly do not wish to repeat when our own sons grow up and marry. · my dad died june of 07 and my mom started dating again and she is happy for the first time since he passed but the problem i have is it's my father in law and i just feel uncomfortable with the situation but i don't want her to be unhappy please tell how Ïîäïèñ÷èêè: 2.
She said I am toxic and the family is toxic and these are not words my daughter would of ever said before. The son-in-law and his mom had a strange closeness, but his mom has that same kind of relationship with her adult daughter and other adult son too. When my daughter started talking about how they are perfect and religious, I notice how she was dissing us, by what she was saying. This is not my daughter. This is not how we raised her.
She was loved by the whole family, in fact she was the only girl for awhile. It took a while and some soul searching and some computer work like this siteto realize that she married into the Monster-in-law scenario. As of now, I cut all contact and the my family has distant themselves from her and his family. I love my daughter, but I will not allow her to disrespect me and the family that loves her unconditionally.
Until then, I do not allow her to peek in, just to jab at me and my family. It took awhile to realize it is her husbands mom and her husband himself apple does not fall far from the tree who is the toxic, most unchristian like people she married into. I hope they find a way to make the marriage work, but I do think their marriage is in trouble. Who will my daughter turn to, once they turn on her!?! The love of my life and I first got together 24 years ago; at the time we met she was 20 and she had been with her previous partner for 3 years.
My beautiful partner and I have built a great life together over the last 26 years; we have two great children, and a successful life together. That was this year.
It was something we did, just for us, as we wanted it. But the mother in law made a whole load of rude comments, before the ceremony, and put her boot in, just after the ceremony. Its also a sign that you have a toxic in-law if they are completely duplicitous. Or, they give you left handed compliments. Every time I want to go somewhere, his answer is, "Maybe we should ask mom to go with us".
Please act like it. I agree! Best to live separately. Good luck to you! I had this toxic signs of a MIL in my first failed marriage. One of the reasons why my marriage did not work out was mainly because of her. She was so nosey in all I do including my overseas plan for my nuclear family.
My ex husband stood with her. She is his mother and I am just a wife. But the best decision I ever made was to leave. The only options I had was between to live a miserable life with them or empower and build up myself be independent, free and happy alone. From there, I stood my ground and left and I never had regrets or guilt-feelings in my life. And now, with in my 2nd relationship I have this toxic MIL again. She would insist her way of raising kids to my own. I warned my hunny about it that he should set boundaries between me and the kids vs.
Last night, I discussed my planned living arrangement with my hunny on how I want live my life with space, peace and privacy with our 2 kids away from my MIL. It may seem selfish but I am just protecting my mental and emotional health since I am on pursuing my goals too for myself and the future of my kids.
She is a family matriarch, and a skilled manipulator. She has the support of her family, and she is never going to change. Every one of these describes my MIL. My MIL is actually my husbands grandma. The sad thing is she is 84 has had 7 grandchildren and 11 great grand children. I literally was not worried I mean common she is Little did I know that she is a overbearing control freak. I mean anyone at 84 that wants to control their grandson is psycho.
We are newly weds and have been married a year and a half, and I have already contemplated divorce multiple times strictly over this old bat and her puppets family. The only thing keeping me from leaving is my daughter.
She is as passive aggressive as it gets. As well she has practically ended up raising all her grand children because of her control issues. Her family as well follow right along with her because they were raised under a rock and think she is a god. Everything is about this lady be the center of attention.
She has blown all her money trying to buy friends and family. Every time I am around her she has to make insinuations. The only way it would be enough is if I devoted my life to her and became her puppet. Which will never happen. My MIL almost perfectly fits all 14 of these traits. She is a nightmare, and it was especially hard the first 10 years of our marriage. The things I especially struggle with is how she judges how I look.
To most people, I look good. To her, I am not thin enough, athletic enough, etc. It is weird. I will never let my guard down with her. I hate going to family get-togethers largely because of her, but the whole family has also bought into all of her "beliefs" and "lies" about it. My husband is supportive, but it took a while for him to get there. Also, he will never, ever be affected by her the way that I am, so that just sucks.
Generally speaking, setting out to seduce your mother-in-law may provoke some unwanted and far-reaching consequences. If your seduction is unsuccessful, your mother-in-law may tell your spouse what you did - this can lead to fights, separation, and even divorce. Your boyfriend's mother or your mother in law shouldn't know anything about your sex life. Period. "If your partner tells his mother everything, this is a bad sign," says Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW. That's because in order to have a healthy relationship with his mom, your guy has to have some boundaries.Àâòîð: Julia Malacoff. · Time to rethink EVERYTHING you've heard or thought you knew about mothers-in-law. A UK fashion retailer, Peter Hahn, surveyed 1, men and uncovered some unbelievable info on how husbands view their mother-in-law. According to the findings, more than half of Ðîä çàíÿòèé: Web Editor.
I pray she reaps what she has sown. Narcissistic people should not be confronted avoid verbal communications. If confronted, they become dangerous. Be careful of these monsters. She is the kind of person who always wants to be right and the center of attention.
Last year after visiting in the nursing home she and my husband decided to go to Atlantic City and play free play down there without telling me about it ahead of time. They has spent from 7 at night to 3 in the morning the next day playing the slot machines at Atlantic City. Then after me and my husband gets a new house, he gives her the key to the house because they claimed that she was helping him to fix up the house but you told me that you gave her the key to the house I had found out about it after putting to and 2 together.
I said hi to her earlier out of respect and she just acting like a teenage retard in their feelings. She saw me and her son smiling and had our arms around each other, and she look like she was displeased. What to do about this woman??? We arrived, so tired and sick at about 10 PM We visited to say "good-bye" the next day, and continued on to other relatives.
We figured We all considered it "our family representation. It took a lot of courage and I have been so much at peace when I placed a stop to my former mother in laws shenaniggans. My neighbors shared the fact that she knocked on their door to inquire about my children and myself.
My son and I were out running errands at that time. My neighbors felt it was important that I know she was knocking on their door. Is this Stalking? I say it is. All this when he was still a minor. I know better than to do such a thing. Destroying other people mail would be breaking a Federal Law.
I do let the kids know they have mail from her and they have decided not to open their letters. I have told the kids to let me know when they would like to view them. The mil and my late husband used to get into awful arguments just about every time she would visit us.
Many of the other relatives know her toxic ways and they keep a distance from her. Many understand my position. I do have one, Lori. My instinct is to withdraw an then deal with my emotions on my own.
Oh well. I take it as a learning experience. You write a lot about toxic mothers-in-law, you must have one. I had one. It was no picnic but I stood my ground and remained kind as well as I could. She really was much more toxic with my then husband. I just want to thank you for this article. She, like you, has a great mom who is a great mother-in-law to me.
Toxic moms are hard to discuss. For me, the negative feelings toward my mom in childhood have faded into feelings of indifference as an adult.My Girlfriend & My Mom Meet for the First Time (Kayla & Janet) - Truth or Drink - Cut
It is hard though, to see my mom be rude to my wife, who has done nothing to deserve it. For me, the biggest anxiety is future children.
I loved my grandparents. My parents are married. You may not believe this but I have a married son and those 14 things listed describes my dil perfectly.
Not me. I have tried to get along with her. We even stay away from them sometimes but my son says it hurts his feelings. But sometimes we just stay away. Too keep the hard feelings away. He hasnt seen any of his family in the 8 years they have been together. His grandpa is getting up in age and 2 great grandkids. Her family is always at their house. She told me when they first married that she never wanted anyone at their house. Just her family. No friends or his family.
Most of his family has never even met her. Nobody in our family has ever done anything to her. Yes some mils are a nightmare. In laws in general. Not all in laws but some. This mil doesnt want to take her place. Nobody will ever change that. I dreamt of the day my boys got married so our family could grow and make some awesome new memories. He would have his own house and family. But even though they are a family they BOTH also still have their other family members too.
And neither side should be made to feel the way she makes us all feel. We welcomed her into our family and she kicked us to the curb. Without my sons blessing. Now there are kids involved and mommy and daddy arent very happy anymore. Her behavior is stemming from her issues, and hers alone. I adopt approach 8 quite a lot, actually. The less contact, the better. Thanks for reading!
Very informative article. For me, I think I would adopt approach 8. Spending a lot of time with negative people can affect you terribly, and sometimes you are not even aware of it. So I would ensure that I move on with my life as normal as possible, without her rubbling off her negative energy on me.
It makes me so happy to know that my article helped someone, even in the smallest way. I heard this recently which put a closure to many of my painful memories and brings peace to my soul : "People who take advantage of others like a toxic MIL just demean themselves.
They deserve our pity. Not our anger. It was the same "burn and put medicine cycle" attitude that MIL use on me. It says "9. That includes the people they marry; you. He realized that he has not set the boundaries he should have from the beginning. Brene Brown talk on Netlix which helped a lot for our relationship to recover.
Brene Brown "Ted Talk" as well. So I feel sad that my husband lived his whole childhood with such a controlling and emotionally manipulating Mother day after day which I never experienced in my childhood. My Mother is a kind Mother. I wanted him to feel peace in his soul.
I wanted him to feel happy. I wanted myself to have the same. And with the wonderful help of this article from Lana and relationship counselling Doctor and my family Doctor, my home is peaceful for my husband, myself and our beautiful kids. Thank you Lana. Good blessings to you, your family and lots of love. I have been married for 17 years and I also have a toxic MIL having all the 14 traits. She has always poisoned my husband against me and my parents ever since I got married.
THe result is that there is no joy left in our married life we live a lifeless life My husband never stood up for me and always sides with his mother even when she is wrong. This is so true They are so toxic I dont know what to do sometimes. Or sometimes she is really nice in front of others and when we are alone she dont talk to me or ask me how im doing etc,etc she pretty much dont care about what im up to, how is my family, my plans nothing. And every time we have dinner or birthdays at her house i just got anxiety attacks, i try to be nice and make conversation but is like she dont care or she give that look like you know that im just been polite for my soon even in Christmas and my birthday ones she gave me a used staff lol.
I told my husband the way i see and feel things but im ended being the bad woman and he get upset with mebut she is so smart that she makes sure that only i can see her subliminal messages. Im a Christian so i pray a lot to God that He c ok n heal my emotions and thoughts but i can help it every time that i come back home from her house i feel this heaviness in my heart and back.
Something honestly i think she has bipolar disorder no kidding and i try be patient but other time i just prefer not to be around her and just stay in my house with my dogs and my husband or just go out with my husband. Do any of you have problem with your father in law too? I like him better but he is so difficult and hurtful. Great article. My MIL is so awful. Incredibly manipulative and spiteful.
I have let her behaviour really affect me emotionally and it has made things difficult between me and my husband as my MIL is so emotionally manipulative.
I have absolutely no respect for her. Your article has encouraged me to let go. To be honest I have to laugh at how ridiculously pathetic she is.
I have nothing to add or take out when I compare with your article. Finally someone in the world understands my pain. I will make sure I never hurt my children that way.
The surprising reasons behind this common conflict and tips to restore harmony.
I feel free now. Lots of love and thank to you Lana. So my mil moved in with us by announcing to her son six months prior in a phone call that she was moving in with us. He really had no idea how to say no and felt he needed to help her. I said okay as long as it works. She moved in and proceeded to be a total selfish bitch. She said my dog may jump on her, give her a bruise and she may die because of her medicine.
She said either the dog goes or she does, I told her the dog stays. She had a rage fit about how I cooked her steak. My better half had to work a month on nights, she proceeded to have rage driven fits of anger with me. Her son has been close to tossing her on the streets.
I finally had enough and told her she can no longer behave like a mean child and either straighten up and get out or just get out. She is getting out at the end of the month, my issue is I just want to tell her what a horrible shit she is and how much I dislike her.
This last month is the hardest and wish me luck not lashing out at the horrible miserable mil. I love this article, perfect description of my mil Please help. My man is 47 and he could not stand his mother when we first got together, but since the grandparents passed away, for some reason, they have gotten closer. Every time she would call him I would have to calm him down because she worked him up so badly.
Now he acts like that never happened, and I am out of my mind. I use to stick up for her but now that I go around her, because I do love him, I see everything he use to say about her is true. I tried talking to him about these things she does, manipulative, guilt trips, etc. I think I am starting to see him turn into her. We have been together for 12 years now.
He has not even married me. Now I am going back to school, and am going to try to get a job just so I can make it in this hellish nightmare we call life. I was a single mother when I met him, and he spoiled my child, so I thought he loved him, but now that my child is a teen I see that they have no relationship whatsoever.
I have learned so much throughout this prosses. Good luck!!! You just have to work on your skill of - politely - putting them in their place. Yes i had a mother-in-law that was very controlling and dis-respectful towards me and she beat me and threw to kick my children in the air to get me a divorce and tried to poison every time i got pregnant.
However, she also was in the black arts where she would do some harm to me on several occasions even at the point of getting my ex-husband to beat me up and he did.
Moreover, it turns out he was so afraid of her, that he broke down and cried because she had him so controlled he was 30 years old that he could not tell me why.
Do i went to her house to find out what had happened only to find out that she wanted me to get a divorce to leave him because she knew he was her gravy train. It was me or her and i ended up having my ex-husband into a divorce because he took her side and took the kids and she raised them and tried to prove i was an unfit mother. Not to mention that he pointed his gun at me as a threat. It has been very comforting to read articles and reader stories such as yours about horrible mother-in-laws over the last few years.
I am almost 60 and a veteran of a 35 year marriage where the MIL has said and done outrageous things and my husband has entirely refused to stand up for me even though I have told him how it makes me feel; he just tells me to ignore her and gets annoyed and stonewalls me on any further conversation. My husband seems to be afraid that she will disinherit him or something he refers to himself as her "golden-haired boy" and refuses to recognise that her behaviour is very insulting on a woman to woman basis.
The net result is that I have entirely emotionally detached from him and her years ago and I resent him for never having my back and hanging me out to dry all the time and I absolutely hate her guts for having to view my husband in this light as a weak self-protecting man. He would probably be gutted to know how little I feel for him; I try to see him as a victim of his mother, growing up with a mother who was totally devoid of any empathy or compassion.
She has sucked the joy out of the marriage for me. It was bad enough having a toxic relationship with my own mother but now it seems I have been in conflictive relationships with women all my life. It started with my purchase of a clothes dryer when we were newlyweds living in a flat with very poor acccess to a clothes line. I was also working up to 90 h a week at that stage and did not have time to manage drying clothes on a line.
We are still arguing about it 35 y later. She referred to demand breast feeding as a "mistake". How wonderful. She insulted me time after time by complaining loudly about minor things when she visited.
She entirely refused to acknowledge any impact working outside the home in a stressful job might have had on my time and demanded I do things in a very time consuming manner such as ironing sheets and underwear I refused of course. Always conflict. I just wanted a peaceful home. What gets me is she has had this great life, did not have to work outside the home to raise her children, travels the world, lots of friends, social life etc but as soon as she is home she is complaining and causing trouble again.
She recently had her 80th which was pretty difficult to endure. None of her friends talked to me or acknowledged my presence there so I guess she has white-anted me to them as well as to my husband. I am definitely the bad daughter-in-law. I am deeply sad and disappointed that she damaged my marriage and my relationship with my husband; she robbed me of this and I hope to get the guts to tell her this before she dies so she goes to her grave gutted and aware of what she has done.
All-consuming is how I describe it. When my parents are in the same area always throwing their so called knowledge of my children and their friends in my parents face like they know more and are more important. Get mad cause I invite my parents to do something with me and my children.
Mother-in-law conflict may have arisen due to increased competition for resources among women and their daughters-in-law. Today, this type of conflict is rare, but mothers-in-law may still perceive that they are competing with their daughters-in-law for the time and attention of their sons. · Does your mother-in-law suck the joy out of your life and make you feel powerless? Then it's time to take your power back. Toxic Mother-In-Law: 5 Years Later This sequel to "14 Signs You Have a Toxic Mother-In-Law" reveals if the relationship with a toxic mother-in-law can change for the better.Îòçûâû: Please come close to her and start pressing her breasts and finally kiss her she will definitely surrender if she likes you. I did the same thing with my 53 years old mother-in-law in December and after a little resistance she surrendered bef.
Have to be involved in everything we do at all times and we are not allowed family time with just us. So tired and not sure how to really deal with this. Married to my spouse for 8. Their are issues My MIL has the above 14 sign as a toxic person. She has the phobia of everything.
Anything happened occasionally, every time she gets sick, she will think she is been poisoned. Her poison rule exist older than my age. Me and my husband together 5 years. His mothers behaviour getting worse and worse. She always jealous when me and my husband had a happy relationship. She always find ways to blame me and my husband.
Even the thing we did is actually good for her, she still find ways blame us. Recently she start her poison rule again. Every time she feel sick she will talk to her son is me did. But she not talk to anyone except my husband. She want ruin my relationship and want my husband find better girls. I told her go to hospital get check and call a police. My husband not listing her, then she blame my husband a horrible son. It affects my work and life.
I want move out 4 years ago. Anyone have good suggestions? My mother in law starts arguments in my home, my husband is afraid to tell her no. She tried to tell me I should leave him because nothing will change.
Send supper prayers to my marriage. Good luck :. My MIL hits every single one of the signs to the extreme! She recently lost my son on cruise ship My husband is deployed and i was going on the trip with my parents and 4yr old. She invited herself on the trip. Long story and many horrible,passive details short. She lost my son on ship bc she purposely didnt listen to me when i told her he was in a running phase. She over-spanked him hard, she flicked him in the shoulder to the point he had bruises the next morning and she told him repeatedly that "no one cares what he thinks or wants.
She believes her actions were justified and will never apologize bc he deserved it. I told my husband that she is not welcome in our home and she my son and i will not come into any contact with her until she apologizes. She has started to lie and bad mouth me to my husband and his family. My husband is on my side of course but is scared of her and refuses to actually say anything blunt or put his foot down.
Dating your mother in law
Hes just riding the fence right now. She has such a manipulating hold over him. She is trying to sabotage us bc she refuses to apologize. Im so worried for my marriage I solved the issue through divorce My mother in law always having illness. She always doing self pity. Brace yourself! Just stay away from her as much as you can, and when you are around her, try the "grey rock" technique, which is simply being as exciting as a rock.
Good luck! I had a crazy Bible thumping mother in law that does not like me at all. She lives so far away but managed to do some serious damage to my husband. When she came to visit I was so sick of the complete craziness she caused about everything. I was in amazement they spent 5 hours to plan the next day of sight seeing and decided on nothing.
On the last day trip I suffered through my husband got a work call, thanks babe, and left me with her to rant about gay people. I told her about my many gay friends and even told her I think my daughter might be gay. I knew that would do it. My husband later on asked me what I said.
I told him he may like playing along to keep the peace but I did not. Fine by me. I on the other hand have no problem saying "no" to people. My now-husband had a problem with being a people-pleaser. When you try and please everybody, you stress yourself out and piss everyone off. He went "no contact" with his ex which he did the same same thing with her. She did the same thing his ex did, went to the extreme to get rid of me.
Not a thought in the world of who she hurt as long as she got her way. Choose God not her! He no longer speaks to her. She tried to apologize and wanted to fix things with us. I knew she was just trying to weasle back into his life for her own selfish reasons. I asked my husband "what do you want me to do?
I was the lucky one, I had a husband that chose me and got the craziness of our lives. Woman who just want to control their sons and have no respect for the woman he loves. Mothers are tough, how do you tell someone not to talk to their mother.? I was lucky enough not to even go there. You have to make a decision, do if you want to stick around and deal with the drama? Unfortunately I have a classic narcissistic MIL that has hated me from day one.
My wedding video has her speaking to us and loudly saying, "When these 2 get a divorce, I want a refund! The hatred has continued for 32 years now.
She actually shoved me 10 years ago and then lied to everyone about it when I gave her a day to apologize. She rallied the whole family to send me hate mail and mean phone calls to tell me what a liar I was. After 2 years she finally admitted she "ran into me accidentally" because she realized her son knew I was telling the truth and she risked losing him. She disowned many family members and hated her own mother for many years.
She was thrilled the day her mother died. It made her so happy to have that burden gone. All narcissists need to be number one and the center of the universe. I truly believe her biggest fear is having one of her 3 children turn their back on her, like she did to her own mother. I truly wish my husband would be that one, but he worships her as she requires. We cannot agree on boundaries and have looked into a divorce after 32 years.
We have gone through all the steps of a divorce now and just need to file. Unfortunately I will get everything She is sneaky and a liar too. But my husband refuses to stand up for me and call her out on what has happened all these years.
I feel extremely disrespected by his actions and he refuses to ask her to change or at least forgive the past. I guess I should just take the money and run?
I never thought this would be my future at the hands of an adult bully. But again I live in Japan and am married to a japanese woman. We have two teenage kids and a mother-in-law that has been living with us from day one. This woman is a true monster in-law. She absolutely has no tolerance when it comes to me. At least twice a week she has a complaint about something. She constantly leaves a wet dish rag spread-out flat on our kitchen counter where food is to be prepared.
She does the wash but I am constantly finding speaks of bleach on my clothing. My wife just says that i must have done it washing dishes.
Not a chance in hell do I use blech with my best shirts and pants on. So, the old saying goes "fight fire with fire". It worked for a while but, now my shoes are missing,not both but just one.
Also, the bleaching is back. Tiny little spots instead of drips. When my kids were tots she would interfer by feeding them which my wife and I wanted to do. So, my wife serves her in her bedroom. Today I had a run-in with her again wrote my wife an email. Maybe devorce is the only way, or hopefully this witch dies before me. Thank you Kim! Excited for you! Divorce final 3 yrs. Made every decision, choice, home care, child care, financial management. In short the main gift of an X who saw his "role" as being gone hrs.
I was not allowed to have an identity other than one she approved of and I was supposed to be grateful to just be allowed into their family. I am now 1, mi from X, children all far away, financially well off, wonderful home and college town to enjoy with international airport near so I can pursue passion for travel a bit each year. The X found another mother figure and married again last year.
I am becoming involved in finding myself again, community and volunteer activities, hiking and reading again. Only email the X when I need something. Got half his K and all my inheritance from sale of family farm so good interest income. So much toxicity traces back to his mother and her domineering self righteous control issues. It will take a long time to let go of the negative ruminating but I am learning to meditate, do yoga, sing in a chorus again and just try to embrace all my past taught me and live with a grateful attitude.
Peace to you all. I am so sorry to read that you are being verbally attacked by these people. I thought, you might use "The logic argument" when informing your fiance. Ask him, in what world would he think this is a proper way to treat a person. Place him in your shoes and ask how he would feel about being treated this way. If he does does think it is a problem. I am afraid you may need to rethink your choice. I really do hope it works out. Sadly, enough I am sure they will change their story.
I did the same with my former MIL. The to of them have harrassed me and belittled me for 3 years. How can I get my fiance to understand that this is unacceptable and will not blow over?