Main -> Dating -> 26 Hilarious Jokes About Dating That Single And Taken People Can Laugh At . Thought Catalog

26 Hilarious Jokes About Dating That Single And Taken People Can Laugh At . Thought Catalog

The 14 Red Flags of Dating - The Art of Manliness

August: back to school time. Circa cough cough enjoying my Freshmen year at Drake University, I found myself not surprisingly making dating criteria list of qualities that I would look for in my perfect man. What started out half as a joke actually turned out to reveal some true thoughts on what I wanted, or at least what I thought I wanted. But looking back, that initial list helped me avoid any guy not suited for me and perhaps hindered me from experiencing the things that most girls experience at college. Points shown in.

Your "Love and the Older Generation" section is the best. Those older women certainly know what they want! I did a study of personal ads on Craigslist in college, let me tell you, it was all kinds of crazy. From married and looking to people who just wanted to have a hot hookup. But it was one of my favorite projects simply because it helped me understand why people say they hate dating- it's like the most competitive sport not on ESPN. I have to imagine some of these people got no responses- especially Willa- since she doesn't even like cats or kids.

Not to mention she can't even deal with sports. Thanks for the chuckle! VirginiaLynne--Scary huh? We can only hope her grades kept her out of med school. Pretty sure she could still be a brain surgeon with bad spelling What strange creatures we are! This was a great hub to read Some very funny, some very sad. Nicely done. But worth the price if you are absolutely picky! So I definitely wish your daughter luck!

Funny dating requirements

As for the rest of us, we can just sit back and laugh at some of the antics in dating ads. And what is even scarier? These were the NICE ads. Some were too awful to put on here! Thanks for reading and I am glad you enjoyed!

These are definitely Some brought a smile, and others brought laughter. But, there is someone for everyone What a great subject matter for a hub!

I enjoyed this immensely and want to tell you what a great sense of humor you write with! This also serves as a perfect example toward my staying clear of singles adds! This is just hillarious! I love the "future brain surgeon" who can't spell and doesn't have time to date but can chat with someone while doing homework.

Voted up and pinned. I am still in awe! I know exactly of what you speak I have heard many that are almost unbelieveble I however have a solution. PLANT one! Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages and Hubbers authors may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others. HubPages Inc, a part of Maven Inc.

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, pairedlife. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so. Jayme Kinsey more. You must enjoy reading You must be healthy You must not do drugs You must not have a criminal record You must be willing to respect me. You must be well-groomed Looking a little like Brad Pitt would be a big plus in your favor.

Julia Allison has 73 dating requirements. Funny, right? As a matter of fact, I'd set the dating bar so low, that my dad actually paid me $1, Saw a couple holding hands while jogging and it made me hopeful that one day I will meet someone who will hate them with me. ó Robin. Instead let's focus on the ridiculous requirements some people set for who they will or will not date based on things that go beyond attraction.

And she is definitely a goal-oriented woman! I know you are out there. My hero. My cowboy. You are years old, youthful, lean, rugged. You have sparkling blue eyes, sandy hair, and a great smile. You are quiet and shy.

You spend time outdoors, you love your family. You like dogs, kids, home-cooking, romantic nature walks, comedies, indie music. You can sing, play an instrument, and kiss like a dream. You have a horse, a home in the country and a real job. You want a good woman and beautiful kids. Wherever you are, I'm yours. Needed quick! Date to family reunion.

Three days, all expenses paid. Looking for man who istall, healthy, and smart. Must be comfortable with strangers, able to play endless hours of frisbee, and not a vegetarian. Must be either Christian or willing to pretend, have a good job, and like animals and kids. Please be well-groomed, too. Ironed clothes are a big plus.

I am a 31 yo athletic brunette with brown eyes. Please don't respond if you don't think you can pretend to be my boyfriend. Or as close as humanly possible. I consider myself the perfect woman. I'm smart, fun, witty, pretty, enthusiastic, the best cook, a great housekeeper, and an ideal citizen. Don't believe me?

Check Out This Manís Crazy Dating Criteria List

See for yourself. Looks Are Almost Everything It is pretty much understood that mean are visual creatures. Here are some ladies who claim to be simply irresistible; Hi! I'm Allison. I am 24 and really cute. I am a college student, getting my degree in education.

I have blue eyes, blond hair, and am 5'6''. I am sporty, athletic, pretty, and attractive. If you are looking for someone who will love to look at, call me. You are cute. SWF, 27 seeking cute guy. My measurements are Super pretty, fun, flirty woman with piercings in all the best places.

Looking for fun guy who likes piercings! I will never be that woman who meets you at the door wearing pajamas and a sweatshirt. BBW seeking chubby guy. Yes, I am heavy at pounds.

Maybe she was just trying to be funny at first and using that as an ice breaker, but she continued to ask me throughout the date if I was sure I. Result: Dating Criteria Checklist for Laura's Perfect Man. Personality: nice, sweet, funny, guy-next door, super confident (on the verge of. These ads will make you think twice about the dating game. You must between the ages of 30 and 45 and meet these requirements.

Im also 5'6. I don't wear makeup, i wear comfy clothes. My mom says i am a slob. I won't judge you on what you wear either. We also have women that set very high standards about the looks of their future boyfriends: H. Sharp dressers prefered. I'm 23, active and healthy. I work-out twice a day, eat a strict diet, and spend a lot of time on grooming.

I demand someone who cares as much or more about his appearance. SF-seeking tattooed man. No skulls, crosses, names of exes, or flowers, plz. Symbolic tats only, sleeve or back. Here are my fave celebs. Give me a call! Looking for man who looks No long hair, facial hair, tattoos, piercingskids, debts, serious health conditions, or mental disorders.

Bikers prefered. Kind, Loving, Charming Here are some women who probably don't fit that vision: I hate men. At least most men. I am looking for the man who can change my opinion. SW tired or dealing with love.

Online dating can be hard, but these hilarious profiles will ease your pain. are now wishing they hadn't put "No one over 40" in their dating requirements. This is the Only Dating Criteria You Need - Funny dating fails (& some wins) from the beautiful world of the internet. Check Out This Man's Crazy Dating Criteria List likes dogs, is a vegetarian, wants a commitment, is just looking for a fling, must be funny, must be smart, etc., .

Looking for a man who is NOT a retarded, crazy, stupid, ugly, short, fat, drunk, jobless, mean, depressed, lying loser. My name is Willa, I am 35, divorced, attractive, and lonely. I am looking for a LTR with someone who is honest and conversational. I will be honest too. I hate kids, so don't even bother me if you have them.

I hate in-laws bad experience so don't expect me to love them. I hate cats, so get rid of it or don't bother me. I hate sports, so if that is your thing, either bring your own television or find someone who likes them.

I am curvy, 5'7", brown hair, brown eyes, and have a great job. Young Love Dating ads presented by the younger women of our world can be very interesting too: Single again 18cute, 5'7", pounds. Black hair, blue eyes. Im Mindy--Im 19, almost 20 Im tall, kinda curvy. Im fun and spontaneous, very outgoing. Love to hang with friends, go to parties and dances. I like meeting new people, watching movies, singing in the shower.

Im also very shy and sweet so if you are nice guy, maybe I am right for you. Natalie, petite nursing student. Totally into blood and guts movies. Love outdoors, art, reading, television, poetry, writing, animals, kids, my family. I work as a nude model for art classes so please no men with jealousy issues.

My dream is to go on to be a Playmate. Love and the Older Generation Women typically live longer than men. Active, healthy, octogenarian seeking handsome older man for committed relationship.

Looking for mentally stable, nice looking man of any age, race, style, and background that is willing to put up with me. Please like pets, gardening and nosy grandchildren. Janet, widowed twice. Not looking to marry again, just want to date nice gentleman close to my age. I hold a black belt in Tae Kwon Do and am currently training in Judo. I know how to defend myself. So no perverts. Seeking someone for casual dating and romance.

If it works you can move into my spare apartment. Both free to date others. Please be clean, kind, and have no criminal background. Love Poll Have you used or thought about using singles ads? Too Cool for School. This guy takes "negging" to the next level. Disney Princess. Really Into Snakes.

Meet The Girl Who Has The Longest Dating List Requirements

Juggalo Love. Maybe don't open with the rock story My Kryptonite Is Kryptonite. Let Those Puppies Breathe.

This profile is a serious blow to the "Free the Nipple" movement. Super Fly Dater. Classic Romantic. The perfect pose if you're going for that "Serial Killer" look.

Crime Report. This is not just a dating profile. This is a story of vengeance. Must Love Michael Clayton. My Little Reaganite. Definitely Not Cheating.

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